My journey

Mayhem

2007-06-18T14:10:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so very sorry that it has taken me so long to post. Live has just been absolutely crazy for the last month. First the trip, then packing to move, then getting sick,then moving. Yeah, I'm pretty worn out. Anyway...

I'm sure you all want to hear about the England trip. I'm going to have to condense it in a huge way because we did A LOT of stuff. The first day was pretty short because I didn't sleep on the plane and eventually just pooped out and decided to go to bed. I did at least get to eat fish and chips, though. The next day was much better. We went to the National Gallery. That was cool, there were a lot of pieces that I remembered from my art history classes. After that we had lunch at a pub, then we went to Oxford Street, the most concentrated retail area in the world. It was...interesting. A LOT of people. After that we went to the theater to pick up our tickets for Equus then went back to the hostel to shower. Once I was clean, we went to TGIFriday's for dinner with was the worst dining experience we had over there and then made our way to the theater. The play was incredible. It only took me about two minutes to get past my, "OMG that's Daniel Radcliffe like 15 feet away from me." feeling. Then I was just enamored with the play. The acting was great. I'm not being biased because Writer thought so too. We tried unsuccessfully for an autograph afterwards, but we'll revisit that later.

The next day we went on the Severn Valley Railway, which is where they got the train for Chronicles of Narnia. It was really cool. We spent half that day at a village called Bridgnorth which was really cool. It was on top of a hill and the views were incredible.

The day after that, we went to Oxford. We didn't get to enjoy it to it's full extent because a lot of the university was closed to visitors due to exams and degree ceremonies. We still got to go in the Eagle and Child where C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien hung out as well as the Christ Church Great Hall and Cathedral. Upon arriving back in London, we went to King's Cross station (Harry Potter) and ate at McDonald's then decided to give the autograph thing another shot. We didn't succeed at the autograph, but I did get a picture.

The following day was spent in Bath. We got to go in the Roman Baths which was pretty cool. Spent some time in a park along the River Avon. And went through the city centre shopping area.

Next we went to Reading which is where Writer did her study abroad last year. We ate at a pub, hung out in a music store, went to the shopping mall, then ate at a Japanese cafeteria restaurant called Wagamama. It was pretty cool.

We spent the last two days in London. The first of the two, we went to the Tower Bridge, the London Eye, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum, the Camden Market, The Tate Britain Modern Art Museum, Green Park, Buckingham Palace, and Victoria Station.

The last day we started at the Tower of London, then to Westminster Abbey, then we ended up at Hyde Park which is where J.M. Barrie was inspired to write Peter Pan and was therefore used to film bits of Finding Neverland starring Johnny Depp. We hung out there for about 3 hours just kind of enjoying the beautiful weather. So it was a good way to end the trip.

So that was the ultra-condensed version of the trip to England. Pictures will be coming soon.

Upon my return, I had to simultaneously get over the jet-lag and adjust to my new third shift schedule. It was rough. Even once I had had a few days to get used to it, I had to start packing and getting ready to move which didn't allow for much sleep.

When it came to last weekend when we got the keys to our new place, I got sick which caused us to push things back a little bit, but luckily we had a whole week before we had to get out of our old place. So even though I was sick, and exhausted, I was managing about 3 hours of sleep a day. It was one of the worst weeks I've ever had. I'm still trying to recover and probably will be for a while. The good news is, we're now in our new place. I absolutely love it. The location is great. About a 30 second drive to church...walking distance to the Greene. It's awesome. So that's what's been going on in my world. Sorry it took so long. now that things are starting to settle down and I have internet at home, I'll start blogging a little more regularly.

I hope you're all doing well!

God bless!

Pepto

It's been a long time

2007-05-11T20:50:00.000-07:00

Yeah, sorry about that. So...this be my last post before leaving the country. Yes, I'm leaving for London in 3 days, 19 hours and 37 minutes. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I'm not keeping track or anything. So, a lot's been happening lately. I am now totally full time at the base and officially free of Target FOREVER!! I'm excited about that. The last day was actually kinda sad. There are definitely a few people that I'll really miss there. But at least I'm only working crazy hours at one job now instead of two.

Let's see...what else. SebbieDue moved downstairs. :( I miss our shenanigans, but at least we still get to chat. Thank God for people like her. I don't know if anybody could have put up with as much crap from me as she has lately, and I'm extremely thankful that she was so willing to do so. After many conversations, usually talking about the same thing, she finally got through to me somehow. So, spiritually speaking I'm finally, after nearly a year of rebellion, starting to get back on track. Speaking of which, I recently agreed to take over leadership of the missions team at church. It's a position that's been offered to me at least three times previously, but the timing just wasn't right. So yeah, I feel a bit overwhelmed about it, but I know God will work through that. I'm also rejoining the praise team. YEAH!! I've missed it so much, and since I'm going to 3rd shift upon my return from vacation, I'll be able to be there for rehearsals. I've even considered, after some more work with Girl Scout, that maybe I'll try my hand at singing. MAYBE. We'll see.

Blue Jacket and I will be moving to Stonebridge at the beginning of June. I'm excited about that. I'm really looking forward to being closer to the church as well as my church family, and not to mention...The Greene. By the way, if anybody would like to help us paint/move/clean/whatever else needs done the weekend of June 8th/9th, please let me know. It would be greatly appreciated.

So yeah, I guess that's about it. I'm going to try to blog at least once while I'm over the pond. It just depends on when, if and how long I can get access to a computer while I'm over there. After I get back, I'll definitely be posting pictures and details of everything.

Well, I hope all is well with you all. Love ya and praying for ya!

God Bless!

Pepto

Turn the page around...Ch Ch Changes

2007-03-29T20:21:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so a lot's been happening lately, yet not much has been happening. The big news for the moment is that I'm FINALLY going full time at the base. So praise the Lord! The funny thing of it is, is that they told me the same day that I THOUGHT I was going to get promoted at Target. I thought so because everyone told me it was a virtual certainty. Yeah, well...they didn't offer me anything. So that made it even easier to tell them that I would be drastically cutting my hours and availability. So my days at Target are almost over. In fact, the only reason I'm staying is for the extra money for my trip to England. So after that, I'm gone forever. I can't wait.

Since my last post, I have officially bought my plane tickets to London as well as tickets to the play Equus. Some of you may know the significance of that, some of you may not. Don't worry about it. But the cool thing is, I have front row seats. Oh yeah. I'm excited. We've got some plans in place for trips to Oxford, Cambridge, Brighton, and Bath, so that will be cool. 47 more days.

So more in internal thought news, I think I'm finally starting to figure some things out about myself. I've always seen myself as a sort of free spirit. It was what to do about that that I've always been confused about. But I've basically decided to just go with the flow. Take things one day at a time. There's no sense in planning out my future when I know that it won't end up like I plan it to anyway. I'm probably confusing right now, I hope you're all following me.

Another conclusion that I've arrived at is that I really don't want to get married for at least a few more years, if not more. This may be kinda surprising coming from me, but alas it is true. I just think there's a lot that I can do and accomplish while being single and young that I may just not be able to do if I was married or I had kids. For example, going to London just 2 1/2 months after deciding to go.

In family news, my parents finally have a home of their own. My brother and family bought a house and they're now renting out their condo to my parents. My mom is currently working a temp job in a factory of some sort. So if y'all could keep them in your prayers that they can get settled down and especially that my mom can find a decent job, I would really appreciate it.

In music news, if you haven't heard it yet, definitely give a listen to Chris Daughtry's CD. Elliot Yamin's is pretty decent, too. Two really good ones that I've recently acquired is John Mayer's Continuum and James (not Jim) Morrison's Undiscovered. GREAT music, in my opinion. I think I'll start sharing my latest musical discoveries with y'all in my posts just to share the wealth. ;)

Well, that's what's going on in my world. I hope all is well with everyone out there! You're all in my thoughts and prayers!!

God bless!

Pepto

Viva London!

2007-03-05T19:35:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I'll get to the title in a minute.

Life's been pretty much the same ol' same ol' for the most part. Been working a lot. Haven't been doing a whole lot else. I finally started my singing lessons with Girl Scout, and that's going pretty well. And I was named "Great Team Hero of the Month" at Target, most places would call it Employee of the Month. Yeah...I guess that's about it.

Now, looking forward...I'll be working even more than I have been. I've got 60 hours this week, which is just a tiny bit more than normal. Next week I have 82 hours scheduled. Yes, that's right, 82. It's technically it's in 6 days not 7 because I have a day off in there somewhere, and I'm expecting about the same for the following week. Now, I know you're all thinking that I'm out of my mind to be working so much especially when I hate one of those jobs which brings me back to the title.

I've wanted to go to Europe for quite a long time now, and for the last few years I had every intention of finding a way of going as soon as I possibly could upon graduating from college. Well, there's no better time than the present. I went last Monday to apply for my passport, and just decided why not. Now, at that point, I was still kinda iffy, but then on Thursday I hear from my old roommate Writer who lives in Boston right now. We got to talking and I told her I wanted to go to London in May, and she said she was too. So we decided to go together. So since at that point I had a travelling buddy, I decided for certain, at long last, to go to Europe. I'm crazy excited about it. We're going to go see Equus. For those of you who don't know, it's the play that Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) is doing right now. We're gonna visit Oxford. We may even take a day trip to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre. So yeah...I can't wait. And everything seems to be falling together as far as timing and finances and everything. Even though I have to stick to a fairly tight budget for the next month or so, but it's a good learning experience.

So a part of me almost feels selfish for doing such an expensive thing but I feel like after 4 years of college and 6 months of working my butt off, I think I deserve a break/adventure like this. It also gives me a goal to work towards which makes it easier to get out of bed and face the day. And it's teaching me how to budget. For the first time in probably 4 years, I'm finally keeping track of my spending, making and sticking to a budget.

So yeah, I'm super excited about all that. In future job news, there's still no word as to when I'll be going full-time at the base. So, just in case it will be a long time, I'm applying for the current open Team Leader position at Target. Since this position is actually posted, and I can't think of anyone else who would be applying for it, I may finally get it.

So that's what's going on in my life right now. I know I haven't seen y'all in a while, and I probably won't for a while because well, I'll be at work. I hope all is well with everyone! Love and prayers to all of you!

God bless!

Pepto

Goings on

2007-02-06T16:41:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so I just realized that it's been about a month since my last real update, so I guess it's about time I give another one. Not a whole lot has been going on, yet a lot has been going on. I'm a walking contradiction, aren't I?

ANYWAY, work's been...well...work. Target slashed my hours. I originally had 12.5 hours this week, but I picked up someone else's shift so I'd have 20. The good news is I picked up a couple extra shifts at the base, so that helps the finances. Next week I have 19 hours at Target and they could potentially be my last. They're expecting the new contract to be signed any day now, so as long as that happens, I'm supposed to start full time on the 19th. WOOHOO! I can't wait. I'll probably be bouncing around as far as different shifts for a while until we get this big transitional phase done, but after that, there's a good chance I'll be working a day shift which is a pretty big deal since I just started here. One guy had to wait 4 1/2 years to get a day shift. On the down side, SebbieDue is moving elsewhere in the building, so I won't get to work with her anymore. :( I'll still see her, but it just won't be the same.

Speaking of SebbieDue, we've gotten to be much closer over the last few weeks, and I'm very thankful for it. One night at work I started asking her some theological kind of questions and by the end I was spilling my guts. I cried, she cried, she prayed for me, we praised the Lord cause I had my guitar. It was great. So anyway, I owe her a lot of thanks for helping to get me started back on the right path again.

I've finally made it back to Bethany a couple of times lately. It's still an every other week thing which is really freakin frustrating because when I'm not at Bethany, I'm doing ad set at Target. HOPEFULLY, this Sunday will be the last time.

In other news, my lack of love life is going ok. I always get grumpy this time of year what with Single's Awareness Day and crappy weather and all, but for the most part I'm still alright. My parents are officially moved back to Ohio. They're going to be taking over my brother's condo when he and his wife and son move into a house after they buy one. We are now down to three roommates in our household. Bianca's moving back home. I'm getting back into playing guitar and I'll soon be learning how to sing. Girl Scout, a woman on the praise team at church previously known as Sight-Sing is going to give me singing lessons as I give her guitar lessons in exchange. Pretty sweet deal in my opinion.

Well, I can't think of much else to say. Maybe life will get more interesting once I'm not working all the time or trying to catch up on sleep.

A very late congratulations goes out to HBM and family!!! I can't wait to meet Peach Fuzz someday soon.

Love y'all! God bless!

Pepto

Life Soundtrack

2007-01-15T21:54:00.000-08:00

Soundtrack of Life
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don`t lie and try to pretend your cool... and alot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits:
Proud Mary - Tina Turner

Waking Up:
When Doves Cry - Prince

First Day At School:
All or Nothing - O-Town

Falling In Love:
Harder To Breathe - Maroon 5

Fight Song:
Best I Ever Had - Vertical Horizon

Breaking Up:
Wink - Neil McCoy

Prom:
Run-Around - Blues Traveler

Life:
6th Avenue Heartache - Wallflowers

Mental Breakdown:
Mambo #5 - Lou Vega

Driving:
Don't Wanna Be A Player - Joe

Flashback:
My Prerogative - Bobby Brown

Getting back together:
Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson

Wedding:
Borrow Mine - Bebo Norman

Birth of Child:
You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban

Final Battle:
Toxic - Britney Spears

Death Scene:
Girls and Boys - Good Charlotte

Funeral Song:
Yeah! - Usher

End Credits:
Here for the Party - Gretchen Wilson

Yeah, so the vast majority of these don't make any sense.
Hope all is well with y'all.
Peace out.

Pepto

Sorry

2007-01-08T05:26:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know I said I was going to be at church yesterday then I wasn't. Please believe me when I say I desperately needed the extra sleep. I pretty much just slept through my alarm. I haven't been sleeping much lately due to work and just generally not being able to sleep. It sucks. I'm getting worn out and I'm afraid if I don't start getting more sleep I'm going to get sick again.

So anyway, what's going on in my world...not much. Updating my journal is getting depressing because I never do anything anymore. But I believe I've finally decided to do something about it. I was sitting in my room last night talking to Bianca and I suddenly decided to get my guitar out and start playing. That's the first time I've done that in several months. It made me realize how much I missed it. So yeah, I really want to get back to playing again. I want to get better at it. So I can be a rock star. ;)

Anyway, after playing guitar for a while I came to a bit of a realization. I've been in this whole, "I'm finding myself" frame of mind for the last few months. The weird thing is, I knew who I was. I lost myself sometime around June or July this year. I'm still not totally sure what happened, but it happened nonetheless. I think satan used that to his full advantage. I was still holding onto a bit of my life up until about November and then it all went out the window. I've turned into this boring, insomniac, workaholic drone, and all of you should know that's not who I am. Once I finally figured this out, I realized that I'm the only person that can do something about it. I've been telling myself that as soon as I go full time at the base I can get back to all the things I've left behind, but that's crap. There's no reason I can't work on it now. I may not be able to do everything, but I can at least get back to my normal self again. So that's my challenge or New Year's resolution or whatever you want to call it.

So yeah, that's what's going on in my head right now. I'm gonna get back to "work."

GO BUCKS!

God bless!

Pepto

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T05:39:00.000-08:00

Hola everyone. I hope everyone had a good New Year's Eve and everything. So far, I've spent the entire year at work. I've been here since midnight and I'm not getting off till 4 pm, so it's a bit of a long day. Speaking of work, this 60 hour week business may be ending sometime soon. Apparently there's a chance that I'll be able to slide into a full time slot here by the end of January. So be praying about that, because it would be fantastic to be able to work normal hours and get a decent amount of sleep.

The funny thing of it is that they've put me into a training/testing phase for team leader at Target. This time for real since my "90 day learning period" is over. I see no reason to tell them that I won't be there much longer because just in case the full time position here gets delayed, I may be able to make a little more money for a while in the meantime.

On the bright side, thanks to my 60 hour weeks, I'm finally getting my finances back on track. Everything's still pretty tight, but I'm getting caught up nonetheless. I'll also finally be able to come to church this coming Sunday for the first time in quite a while. Whenever I quit Target, I should be able to come consistently again.

Some other thoughts: I just spent a while reading all my entries from this past year. It's amazing how much things have changed and how much I have changed in just one year. It makes me wonder where I'll be and what I'll be doing this time next year. Who knows? I guess I'll find out as it happens.

I hope everyone has a great 2007! Love y'all!

God bless!

Pepto

All work and no play

2006-12-19T15:13:00.000-08:00

For real.

So pretty much all I've been doing lately is working except the times that I'm trying to sleep. I'm talking like 60+ hours a week. I'm not cut out for this kind of stuff, especially when I'm still not making much money doing it. I'm actually working overtime just at Target this week for the first time and it's only because they don't realize that I'm working for someone else tomorrow. Usually overtime is pretty much forbidden, but what they don't know won't hurt them. 0:) I also picked up an extra shift at the base today, but it's only 5 hours and I'm pretty much doing the same thing here that I would be at home but I'm getting paid for it.

So anyway, as soon as Christmas is over, I'm going to start looking for a new full time job. I'm still hoping to go full time at the base, but it looks like that may not happen until March. In the meantime, I really just want a better paying, better hours (preferably during the day) job than Target. So, if y'all know of anything, please recommend me and pass the info on to me. I might try to get something at a bank. I've always wanted to work at a bank, my brother works at one, plus I'm really good with math and stuff. Yeah...good hours too. I'm rambling. Sorry y'all...I'm tired.

In other news, the TDH situation is dead forever. He moved back to Michigan. Oh well. Life goes on. I often get tired of this happening over and over and over, but I quickly get over it and go back to my spinster life, Bridget Jones style. I wouldn't have enough time for anyone right now anyway. Although I did get hit on at the bank a few days ago by a mentally ill person. Great moment, let me tell ya.

Well, anyway. I miss y'all. I haven't been around Bethany due to working. It's really starting to get to me, hence the reason I want to find another job. I hope I can at least be there on Sundays again after Christmas. Anyway, I love y'all, and I'm always thinking about ya and praying for ya.

Peace out.

God bless!

Pepto

I am ALIVE!!

2006-11-30T19:03:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so I thought I should post and let you all know that I am still alive and WELL! I'm finally back to my normal self with the exception of a bit of a cough, but it's nothing to worry about. So I never found out for certain exactly what I had but the assumption is that it was the flu or some other virus with a bit of bronchitis mixed in. I'll just sum it up by saying it was AWFUL. But I survived. On the downside, I missed 6 days of work, so I'm having some financial issues that I'm having to figure out, but I will survive. On the upside, I lost 12 pounds during that illness. I've gained a few of them back though, just because I've been trying to get the strength back in my body. So now that I'm pretty much back to normal, I'm probably going to hop back on my diet. Going to the gym is pretty much out of the question because I'm always at work, and when I'm not at work, I need the rest. This weekend I'm working 40 hours between Friday morning and Sunday afternoon. I'm not looking forward to it, but I need the moolah.

In other news, my parents are moving back to Ohio. Long explanation as to exactly what they're doing, but I'll just say that they're going to be in Portsmouth for a while, and then they're moving to Columbus for good. So that's exciting that my parents will be close again, and I'll actually be able to see them for Christmas. Oh, and they gave me a 26" flat screen LCD TV. It was a gift to them and they gave it to me. It may be only temporary, but I'm trying to convince them that they really don't want it back.

The new job is still going great. My first regular day on the job was a bit crazy. Lots of stuff went wrong, but it was a good learning experience. So if disasterous things happen again, I'll be a bit more prepared to deal with it.

Well, that's about it. Just wanted to update y'all. Keep praying that I'll survive this work overload without getting totally exhausted or sick again. I hope all is well with everyone. I love ya and I'm praying for ya!!

Prayer request!

2006-11-21T07:28:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm still not any better. I just keep getting different symptoms and going back to old ones. Right now I'm at my brother's in Columbus, and my mom's in the shower. As soon as she gets out and I take one, she's taking me back to the emergency room. Yes, back, as in I already went on Saturday morning instead of my graduation. So if y'all could please pray for me that they figure out exactly what's wrong and can fix it, I would really appreciate it. I've never been this sick in all my life and it's awful. On top of the fact that it's causing me to miss almost two weeks of work which will not help the financial situation. So please pray. Call people you know and have them pray. Pray pray pray. Thank you so much. I love you all.

Pepto

It's gotten even worse.

2006-11-16T16:29:00.000-08:00

Yeah, as bad as this sickness was to begin with, it's gotten even worse in the last two days. I woke up yesterday around 6 am with an upset stomach. I thought it might of just been what I ate last night. Anyway, long story short, I ended up throwing up twice and there was blood in it. On top of that, I blew my nose and it was mostly blood. So I started freakin out. I woke Bianca up to have her take me to the hospital then Pre-Med our new roommmate came down and said that I should wait a little while and maybe just go to a doctor instead. Sometime among all that I had Bianca call my mom because I had totally lost my voice by then and my mom left from Columbus to head this way. By the time Mom got here, we had concluded that the reason why I was vomiting blood was because I had busted a blood vessel in my nasal cavity because of it drying out somewhere and it drained into my stomach and made me sick. After I while, my nose stopped bleeding and I decided not to go to the doctor because I have no insurance and can't afford it.

So sometime after my mom got here, she was sitting on the floor by my feet and asked me if I had a fever, so I leaned forward for her to feel my forehead and in the process knocked my cell phone into a cup of apple juice on the floor. What are the odds? So my phone was dead. Awesome. So after a day of laying on the couch, going in and out of sleep, my voice going in and out, my mom and I went to the Sprint store to try to replace my phone. We got a previously owned phone for half price which my mom paid for because I have no money. So yeah, I feel pretty crappy about that because it was my fault and my parents don't really have the money either.

Anyway, moving on. I got up this morning to go to work and felt nauseated again with very little voice left and really congested. I started working and just couldn't do it. After 4 trips to the restroom, I decided to go home where I threw up twice and have only eaten a few crackers and one pancake since.

So yeah, I'm still nowhere near healthy and the graduation celebrations start tomorrow. I'm supposed to have dinner with family in Columbus so I really hope I'm feeling well enough to go and be functional. I could use everyone's prayers to get back to health. I've never been this sick in all my life and it couldn't come at a worse time. So I just thought I'd let y'all know what's up and ask for ya to please pray pray pray for me. I need it. I hope everything is ok with all of you out there!

God bless!

Pepto

So sick

2006-11-13T12:11:00.000-08:00

For those of you that saw me at church yesterday this is old news. I've been sick for about the last week. It started off relatively minor. Just a sore throat and a bit of achiness, but by Friday it became a bit more persistent. Then Saturday I started running a fever and had a massive headache and felt like I was ready to die. So I called off work. I woke up on Sunday and didn't feel quite so bad. At least the fever seemed to be gone, so I went to church because I had to do the Mediashout stuff for the songs. Throughout the services my headache worsened, then we went to the Fairfield Commons mall for lunch, and for some reason the scent of food was starting to make me feel nauseated but I didn't think anything of it until I got up to leave for work. I was feeling progressively worse the further I walked, but I made it. I got in my car drove the half mile to Target, walked in the front door walked straight to the restroom and up came my breakfast. Great. In addition to already feeling like crap, I some how got either a) the stomach flu or b) some kind of virus. I threw up 4 times in an hour and couldn't even keep a tiny drink of water down. So I had Blue Jacket pick me up from Target, I came home, got some Sprite and started drinking it slowly. Eventually I was able to move up to crackers, water, Jello, and chicken broth and I finally started eating some solid stuff today, so I'm getting better. I'm hoping to make it back to work tomorrow because missing 3 days of work is going to put a huge dent in my already tiny budget.

So yeah, I'm feeling better but still not good. I have a nasty pflegmy cough, and I'm congested but it's a lot better than not being able to eat anything. So if y'all could keep me in your prayers to a) get better and b) figure out my financial situation, I'd appreciate it.

In other news, the job on base with SebbieDue has been great. I really hope I can go full time soon. We had a lot of fun last Wednesday. I'm also going to start kinda sorta training for a team leader position at Target, even though I can't even apply for a position until my "90 Day Learning Period" is over. I've also found out that Huntington Bank is hiring full time, so I'm going to work on updating my resume so I can apply for that.

Oh! My parents are on their way to Ohio right now. They're staying at my brother's in Columbus for a while, then everyone will be here Saturday morning for my graduation. I'm not as excited about graduation as I once was. It costs money that I don't have, and hardly anyone that cares will be there. Oh well, if ya don't have anything better to do Saturday morning at 10 am, it's at the Nutter Center.

And this has been a pity party for and by Tessa. Sorry ladies. I'm sure this was a big bummer. Life's been rough as of late. I guess it can't get much worse. No way to go but up. :D I'll be seeing y'all.

God bless.

Pepto

Sorry

2006-11-06T20:45:00.000-08:00

Yeah, It's been a couple weeks. Lo siento. I've been quite busy over the last couple of weeks which is most of the reason why I haven't updated. I finally started at the job on base, and between that and Target, all I do is work. 56 hours last week and 45 this week. It's kinda stinky just because...well...who likes to work that much? But it has been very helpful for the money situation.

So yeah, that's what's been going on with me. Even with all the hours and paperwork and training and hassle, I'm SOOOOO thankful for this new job. I really like it. It's pretty easy but there's opportunity to learn and grow. Plus it's pretty cool working with SebbieDue. I can't thank her enough for helping me get there.

In Target news, I've applied for a promotion to Electronics Specialist because the current one got a real job, so he's leaving. We'll see. Keep it in your prayers. I could use the extra money still.

In TDH news, I'm still getting to know him better. I always talk to him at work and we've had some good conversations. He's said some really sweet things, but I won't get into it. Sorry to leave you hanging, but I don't see a need to go into detail and read into things. I do hope though that we can at least be friends beyond our time at Target simply because he's an extraordinary guy.

So that's life. Busy yet uneventful. Keep praying for the new job, there's still a lot of stuff that we're waiting on like my clearance. The quicker it goes through the faster I get a raise and the more chance I have at moving to full time when the opportunity comes.

I hope everyone is doing well, and I miss y'all.

God bless!

Pepto

I got it!

2006-10-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right. I got the job. :D The boss guy told me at my interview that if they decided to offer me the job that I would get a call from the CSC security office. Well, yesterday afternoon, I got a call from the CSC security office. So I haven't heard from the bossy guy officially yet, but it should be a done deal. The good and bad part of it is that I'll be working Saturday nights. The good part is that I'll be working with SebbieDue, the bad part is that I'll definitely never be able to go to rehearsal now. That's ok though, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get much of a chance to have Saturday nights off from Target without good reason. So there it is, praise the Lord. Now we just have to start praying that I get an opportunity to go full time in the near future.

So what else is going on...I've been getting to know TDH a bit better. He seems like a man after my own heart. He's graduating at the end of this year and plans to go to law school, although he doesn't know where yet. He loves to hunt and fish (I love fishing myself). The other day I was saying goodbye as I was on my way out, and he said "that stinks" referring to me leaving earlier than him. Then I asked if he was working tomorrow and he said yes so I said that I would see him then and he said, "I'll look forward to it." So yeah, that was cool. Knowing the luck that I have with guys, I'm sure nothing will come of this,and it kinda makes me mad that this whole thing has brought me out of my contentness with singleness, but oh well. Life goes on.

OH! I got to see Little G on Wednesday. She is so beautiful!! I got to hold her for quite a while as she slept. Probably longer than I should have because Mommy didn't want to speak up to say she wanted to hold her for a while. It didn't bother me though. I look forward to seeing her again soon.

The roommate problem is still a problem, she's still not out yet, and it's really getting annoying. We sent a letter to her and her parents saying she has to be out by Oct. 31st. We'll see if that happens. We're hoping it will because we've found someone to replace who will actually pay her bills on time and is going to put her name on the lease. So our rent won't be going up or anything.

Well, I must be going. I need to eat and get ready for another day of work. I hope all is well with everyone. Peace out.

God bless!

Pepto

Target

2006-10-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

That's pretty much what my life is right now. I get up in the morning, I have enough time to eat breakfast, maybe go for a walk, get a shower, eat lunch, make dinner to take to work then go to work. I get home between 10:30 and 11:30 at night. It takes me a few hours to get to sleep. Which is why I don't get up until later. So yeah, I feel like I don't have a life outside of work and it really stinks. So I don't have much to talk about.

The problematic roommate is SUPPOSED to be out by this Thursday, so that issue is going away, but not without some drama. There's still a lot of stuff that she has yet to pay, so we're going to write a letter, take it to legal services at Wright State, then serve it to her telling her that she has to pay us the money for those bills as well as some other stuff that we're going to have to pay for that's her fault, AND that she has 30 days to get ALL of her stuff (including the dog) out of our apartment. Tons of fun, let me tell ya.

Ok, so now to the positives. The intervew went really well. In fact, SebbieDue talked to the guy who interviewed me and she said that there's a pretty good chance I'll get one of the part time slots. YAY!!! At least it's a start. There will be a lot of moving and shaking going on there within the next 6 months, so there will probably be at least a few full time positions opening up. :D I hope this works out because my pay at Target is peanuts, and I can't afford it for too long.

Speaking of Target, I've been getting to know people at work better. There's one guy...I'll just call him S for now. He's a cutie, but I think we'll just be friends. Then there's Tall Dark and Handsome...I'll call him TDH for short (not the same TDH from last summer). He's a student at Cedarville, unfortunately I don't know what year he is. He looks like he's about 26, but he's younger than me. He's originally from Michigan. He's REALLY nice, and REALLY good looking. I hope I get to work with him more and get to know him better. Well, we'll see.

That's about it. Keep Mac and Cheese and family in your prayers. Little G is scheduled to come into the world tomorrow morning. YAY!!! Keep praying for HBM, Elvis, Pita Pocket, and Booty with their transition. I hope all is well with everyone!

God bless!

Pepto

Quick prayer request

2006-10-02T20:14:00.000-07:00

Hey ladies! This will be short because I just got home from work, and I'm kinda tired. A lot of you already know, but for those of you who don't, I have an interview with CSC (the job SebbieDue's been trying to get for me) tomorrow (Tuesday) at 3 pm. So if you can, stop what you're doing and say a little prayer for me.

Aside from that, work has been up and down. I've spent half the time as operator which I despise and the other half in electronics which I love. I was in electronics today and it went really well. I sold 4 iPods, two iPod dock thingies, a couple of cell phones, and opened my first TargetCard account. So I had a good day. I also got to meet the Electronics Specialist guy. We were talking about music and he said that he listens to Christian stuff, so sweet. His little brother works there too. So yeah, if I could just stick to electronics, I'll definitely stay in that job in some capacity.

Not much else is going on really. I got my diploma in the mail the other day. That was exciting to know that I really am done.

Well, I'm gonna hit the hay. I'm praying for y'all, and I love ya!

God bless!

Pepto

Here's hopin

2006-09-29T09:17:00.001-07:00

Well, things are slowly starting to get resolved. The roommate problems looks like they are about to go away because the roommate that was the problem is apparently moving out. Now, although it means it's going to cost the rest of us a bit more each month, I think we're all willing to make that sacrifice. The job situation may get much better soon. It's already looking better at Target cause they've started training me in electronics which is much easier to deal with than the operator job I had been doing. I enjoy it much more. But even better, I finally got a call for the job on base yesterday. Woohoo!!! He's supposed to call me back today to set up an interview for next week. I may not necessarily go straight to full time, but if I take a part time position then when I full time position opens up, I will have a much better chance at getting it. Either way, I've decided to keep my job at Target for a while. If I get the full time job on base, then I'll go to part time and only work 2 or 3 days a week at Target. If I get the part time job on base, then I'll stay full time at Target. I thought it would be a good way to earn a little extra money PLUS I'll still have my discount which will come in handy with the Holidays coming up soon.

So yeah, things are slowly starting to turn around which I am very thankful for. At least it's making life a bit more bearable for the time being. I finished reading that book I previously talked about the same night I bought it. It was helpful in understanding that a lot of what's going on in my life is pretty typical for most twentysomethings. Having a hard time finding a job, friends dispersing and moving away, etc. etc. It also inspired me to write my mission statement. Yeah, just like Jerry Maguire. The book talked about how the reason why most people fail is because they don't have a goal to work towards, so I set some goals for myself that I can start working towards. So at least I have a bit of direction now.

So there ya go. If y'all could keep that stuff in your prayers, I would really appreciate it. Be praying for Mac and Cheese and hubby as Little G will be coming into the world very soon and HBM, Elvis, Pita Pocket, and Booty with their big transition. Good luck to you guys!

God bless!

Pepto

Here's hopin

2006-09-29T09:17:00.000-07:00

Ready to run

2006-09-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie to y'all. I'm dying to get out of here. I don't want to be here anymore. When I say "here" I'm primarily talking about my apartment, but also just the Dayton area in general. I keep telling everyone that I'm running out of reasons to say here. It's true. I'm out of school, so that isn't keeping me here. My job sucks, so that's not keeping me here. The two main things left that have a hold on me are friends and church. Well, more of my friends seem to be leaving every few months or having kids or getting married or whatever. And church...well, there's nothing about it that I want to leave, but maybe this transition time would be a good time to go. I don't know. I'm just not happy here anymore, and I haven't been for quite a while. There's just been a few things over the last couple weeks that keep pushing me closer and closer to the edge. Unfortunatly, I can't just leave. My lease runs until June. So I guess I just have to suck it up and find places to be around here where I'm not so miserable.

So I'm really trying to approach this situation with prayer and a lot of caution. I don't want to do anything drastic that will put me into a hole. A hole being some difficult position that I have to fight to get out of. I wish I could just go right now and take the people that I want to take with me, but it just can't happen. I just feel like I'm stuck. All around. Stuck here in Dayton. Stuck a job I don't like. Stuck in financial distress. Just stuck. I can't move.

I went to Family Christian today for the first time in forever. I bought a book called "Everything Twenties" that gives advice on how to go about doing a lot of stuff that happens in your twenties: graduating college, looking for a job, moving, etc. etc. So we'll see. I haven't read a book like that in a while, but it just seemed to be yelling my name when I saw it. So I splurged and got it.

Yeah, I'm kinda scatterbrained and distracted. Sorry. Well, I'm going to be going. I'm gonna finish watching 7th Heaven and go to bed relatively early. I'm getting up to have breakfast with a couple of friends then I'm going to help HBM and Elvis load up their moving truck, and say goodbye. :( I'm gonna miss them.

That's it for now. Toodles y'all.

Pepto

Everything changes

2006-09-19T13:12:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so once again, it's been while because although everything is different from my previous post, there just hasn't been much happening. As most of you know, my parents got back together. Everything's fine between them. I have a job. I'm working at Target. Not exactly what I pictured for myself post-graduation. I like it so far. I've mainly been a cashier. It stinks standing for hours on end, but I like interracting with people. I actually saw Roomiestar today. She came through my express lane. It was good to see her. So yeah...I'm actually getting 32 hours this week. Woot. So at least I have a job. SebbieDue is trying to get me a job on base. That would rock my socks. It's much better pay than Target. So please pray for that. It would be great if I could get though. I'm actually thinking about continuing to work part-time at Target even if I get that job. It would be helpful for paying of debts and saving up for other things. We'll see how it goes. Other than that, not much has been going on. I've been walking everyday except the last two because Bianca told me I needed to let my muscles rest. I'm up to at least 3 miles a day, usually 4, occasionally as much as 5. It just depends on how I'm feeling. I've lost about 25 pounds, and gone down 2+ sizes. WOOHOO!! :D I just hope I can stick with it. It's usually about this time that I start getting bored with it and quit.

In other news as you all know, HBM, Elvis, Pita Pocket, and Booty are moving on. :( I'm really happy for them and I think this is an incredible opportunity for them, but I'm going to miss them like crazy. It kinda feels like I'm losing part of my family. Hopefully I can go visit sometime. Especially if they find me a fitting suitor down there in Bowling Green. ;) I wish them the best of luck.

Anyway, I'm gonna watch Ellen. I hope all is well with everyone. I'm praying for ya!

God bless!

Pepto

And the bottom drops out

2006-09-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

This will be short and sweet.

My trip to NC was terrible. Our time at the beach was mostly spent in the hotel due to Tropical Storm Ernesto landing exactly where we were staying. The trip ended with two fantastic events. 1) My first flight got delayed, I missed my connecting flight and got stuck in DC for 4 hours 2) my mom left my dad. Long story, I'm not going into it on here. I'm dropping my classes at Sinclair and looking for a full time job in ANYTHING I can find. Things with a roommate are really not going well at all...they're going down right terrible. On the plus side, everything's fine with the other two.

So to sum it all up. Life stinks right now.

Long time no update

2006-08-29T21:27:00.000-07:00

My apologies everyone. I've been in a whole other world lately. The world known as North Carolina. It's been nice not having to do anything for a while. It's the first time I've been idle in quite a while. I'm ready to start doing stuff again. Good thing we're going to do the beach tomorrow. :D

Anyway, everything seems to be on task for me to start classes at Sinclair next week although not quite as originally planned. It's a long explanation, but I'm only taking 2 classes. Now I still need to work on finding some sort of job. I have to survive somehow. I can manage for about a month, but beyond that I HAVE to have a job.

The diet is going quite well. I don't have a number on how much I've lost, but I've gone down 2+ sizes. I'm guessing around 15-20 pounds, but it's hard telling. So yay! I've even managed to stick to it while being down here in NC. I was worried about that, but I've been surviving.

So yeah. Not a whole lot has been going on, which is a big reason why I haven't updated. OH! I can tell you of my adventures of flying down here. It sucked. First, I got to Port Columbus 3 hours before my flight left which means I got there at 3:30 AM. Yeah...so I go to the ticket counter for my airline to get my boarding pass and whatnot, it doesn't open until 4:45 am. So I just had to stand there for over an hour. Once that was over, everything was smooth sailing until I got to the next airport (Dulles in D.C.). I had 30 minutes to get to the other side of the airport (it's a very large airport) for my connecting flight. Well, I got there like 5 minutes before it was supposed to START boarding. 5 minutes later, I hear my name called over the PA to come to the gate door. I go through, get on the plane and everyone was already on there. They had already finished boarding the plane before they were even supposed to start. Anyway, we sat there for almost half an hour before we took off. Once we got in the air, I was drifting in and out of conciousness and hallucinating because I didn't go to sleep that night. I don't function well on no sleep. By the time we landed, I felt like I was going to die. I walked out and saw my dad and uncle and the only think I could say was, "I'm so tired." So we start down the road and I ask to stop at the first gas station we see so I can get some water. So I got some water and some tums. I took one tiny bite of a tum, then I start to spew. It sucked. I've discovered that when I don't sleep, I throw up. It's kinda weird. Maybe it's because I get so disoriented. After that I eventually passed out in the van on the way down to Fayetteville, but I made it here nonetheless.

I just thought I'd share that exciting adventure. So there it is. I'll probably try to update after I get back to Ohio. School starts for me on Wednesday. :P Bleh. I hope all is well out there.

Please keep Many Kids, Little Lucy, and their family in your prayers. I know I am. I hope all is well with everyone. I'm praying for y'all! Love ya!

God bless!

Pepto

Decisions Decisions

2006-08-09T09:14:00.000-07:00

So it's kinda odd that things are happening so fast and it's not really in my control. The whole financial aid thing happening has completely thrown a curve ball at me and my plans. I had no control over the financial aid problem which leads me to believe that God has something else in store for me. What that is exactly, I don't really know. I've decided I'm just going to try different things until I find the right one. With that decision also comes the decision that I'm not going to live a normal life. I'm not going to be a 9-5 desk job kind of person. It's just not for me. So I'm most likely going to end up trying a bunch of stuff that people will think I'm crazy for now but they'll wish they had done it 50 years from now. I know that doesn't make sense, but it does to me because I know specifically what I'm talking about.

I've decided to keep my next attempt at my future quiet. I've only told a few people what I'm planning to do, but I will tell you that I have applied to Sinclair, and I'm planning on getting an Associate's Degree which I think will prove to be a lot more useful than my current Bachelor's Degree. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't trust y'all or anything, it's just that I know some of you will think I'm crazy and I don't want to let that sway me from doing it. Once I get underway on that path, if it's a good fit, then I'll be more apt to tell you what's going on.

I don't know what will come of this. I may end up quitting after one quarter and going to grad school for counseling. Or I may finish, start working, discover I hate it and try something else. I may be one of those people that's still trying to figure out what to do with my live at age 60, but as long as I live life to the fullest, and as long as I'm happy, and as long as I'm glorifying God, so what. There's no commandment that says 'thou shalt figure out what thou wants to do with life at age 22 and stay with it for the rest of thine life.'

In other news, the financial situation is finally relaxing. One of my loans went through already, and the other one should soon which will give me a pretty decent refund. YAY!!! I'm still spending time in the Word. Sometimes I have to force myself to do it, but it's better than not doing it at all. I'm reading Daniel right now. I just read the Lion's Den story last night. Good stuff. I'm also back on the South Beach Diet. At women's group on Sunday, Detergent said she wanted to get back into it, but she needed someone to do it with her to help keep her accountable. So I said I'd do it. I'm on day 3 and still doing fine. I have no idea if I've lost any weight or how much I've lost because I don't have scales, but who cares. I also fell down the stairs on Monday. That was great fun. I wish I could have seen myself hobbling around that day. Bianca says I probably just strained the tendons and muscles in my ankles and calves, but I'm already doing much better. I'm still walking with a little bit of a limp because it hurts to put all my weight on my left leg, but I should be fine within the next few days.

Btw, the internet at home isn't working for some reason. I can't really complain because we haven't exactly been paying for it. So the only time I get to check e-mail or journals is at work.

I hope all is well with everyone! I love y'all and I'm praying for ya!

God bless!

Pepto

Praise the Lord!

2006-07-31T21:19:00.000-07:00

My Financial Aid FINALLY went through today!!! I could feel this heavy burden being lifted off my shoulders the second I found out. Not only do I have enough to pay the rest of my tuition, but I should get a little bit back. :D Good thing, I'm in desperate need right now. So I wanted to let y'all know that. Thank you so much for your prayers. I'm excited. I GET TO GRADUATE!!! :D

On the other hand, I still am not going to be able to start Grad School in the fall. So, I'm looking for a job. If any of y'all know of any openings, PLEASE let me know. I know this is not what I had planned, but maybe God has something better in store. At the moment, I still have every intention of going to grad school, just not right away. I'm shooting for winter quarter though. I'm afraid if I take too much time off, I won't do it. It will be nice to have a 5 month break from school for the first time in my life. :D

So be keeping all that in your prayers. I'm not in the clear yet, but at least things are looking up. I've also been doing much better about spending time in the word and in prayer. It feels good to be getting back in the habit of it. I missed it, even though I was the one that was choosing not to do it. The human soul works funny that way.

Thank you so much for your prayers. I am so thankful for all of you. I'm keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers continuously. I love you all!!

God bless!

Pepto

Crossroads...

2006-07-27T13:00:00.000-07:00

they're quite a phenomenon. A place in your life where you have a decision to make and it's the kind of situation that determines if your life will go in one direction or the other. I'm there except I don't even know what directions I have to choose from. I'm supposed to graduate in 3 weeks which may not actually happen because I STILL don't have financial aid. I've had to fix it 4 times thus far which has not been enough which is also related to possibly not getting into grad school. A) I don't have any way to pay for grad school as of right now and B) The financial situation has made me unable to take the GRE which I'm supposed to do. I'm at a loss. I don't know if I should just continue to pray that I get into grad school and subsequently get a Graduate Assistantship or if I should get a "real job." That's a pretty loose term nowadays. Of the friends of mine that have recently graduated which is about 10 of then, I think 2 actually have what you would consider professional jobs. A bachelor's degree (especially in art) is worth about the same as a high school diploma was 10 years ago. I think my experience in my job is worth more than the education I paid thousands of dollars for. So I'm left pretty clueless. Responsibilities are piling up and I have no way to take care of them because of this whole lack of financial aid/VA money problem. I'm afraid if I just get a job that I'll never go back to grad school and I'll end up in a job I hate for the rest of my life. Then again, the more I think about it, the more difficult it is to see myself in the professional world, ever. I'm just not a 9-5 kind of person. I'm too free spirited. I don't know what the heck to do with that though. I have a lot of far-fetched dreams that I've had for a while, but people would think I was crazy if I went after them. Musician, author, actress, missionary, photographer. Ok, so maybe the last two aren't so crazy. But I also have no way of doing it short of leaving here which A) I don't want to leave yet, and B) I can't leave yet. I have a 12 month lease.

So I'm obviously at a loss. Part of the reason why I've gotten so lost probably has a lot to do with my spritual life becoming virtually non-existent. I'm showing up at church and everything, but that's just it. I'm showing up. A few months ago I was on the verge of doing some great things for the Lord, but satan has beat me down. I've been defeated this time. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth to say that, but I have to face the truth. I've been hiding in this weird obsession I've developed with Pirates of the Caribbean and Johnny Depp. I've been spending all of my free time looking up stuff about it on the internet, talking about it, and watching all of Johnny's movies. I've gotten obsessive about stuff like this before but this time I know exactly why I'm doing it. I'm trying to hide from the reality that is my life right now. No matter how deep into this obsession I get though, reality is always there lurking just over my shoulder.

To put it eloquently, this stinks. I could use your prayers and any advice you're willing to dispense. I'd really appreciate it.

Pepto

Almost done

2006-07-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

So here I sit in my LAST CLASS as an undergrad, not paying attention to a word the prof is saying. I'm such a good student. 17 more class periods until I'm a graduate. It's pretty weird especially now that I'm really starting to look at my post-graduation options. I still have every intention of going to grad school, but I may be taking a different approach. There is a job opening at the main library here on campus that involves doing a lot of the same things that I do now, so I have plenty of experience which will give me an advantage over other applicants. This would be a full time job, around $23,000 a year plus I can take up to 8 credit hours at Wright State for free. So if I do this, it will take me a bit longer to get my masters, but it will help me to get rid of my credit card debt by the time I graduate and to start saving money for the future. So keep that in your prayers for me, please. This would be a great opportunity for me.

In other news, my parents are in town. :D I'm so excited about them being here. This is the first time they've really been able to spend time with me in my home (Dayton). We're staying at Minister and Detergents house because I'm house/dog sitting for them and they said it was perfectly fine if my parents stayed there. I must say their dog is driving me up a wall. Last night was better than the night before, but she's still being a bit of a pain. Anyway, I'm going to see Pirates (4th time) with mom and dad this evening after I get off work, so that will be fun. Who know what we'll do the rest of this weekend.

This has been a whirlwind kind of week. Monday, my car ran out of gas on the way to my first day of class. I had to call GM roadside assistance and I ended up being nearly an hour late to my first class. Things went down hill from there. A lot of stuff I won't go into here, but I topped it off by ripping a big hole in my jeans at work. Tuesday didn't start off much better. I locked myself out of Minister's house and had to get a ladder to climb in the window. That was a painful experience. On top of all that, Toolman called me Sunday night, but didn't leave a message. So I called him back Monday night to find out what he wanted. He's in New Orleans with his church and he wanted me to look up the phone number of someone we met in New Orleans. I found it for him, but I got to talk to him for a bit in the meantime which was good. It was nice to talk to him after all this time.

So there it is. Also, if you could keep the financial aid situation in your prayers I would really appreciate it. It turns out that there was something else wrong with my application (my parents needed to sign it) that they NEVER said anything about. Since my parents are here, I'm having them physically sign in and then I'm turning it in to the F.A. office to make sure it gets done. So yeah, the saga continues. It should finally be taken care of by the end of next week, but just pray that they don't cancel my class in the meantime for lack of payment.

I hope all is well with everyone. I'm praying for y'all.

God bless!

Pepto

Craziness

2006-07-11T07:22:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is VBS week. Under normal circumstances that makes life rather hectic, but add on to that the fact that I'm still working 30 hours, finishing my last week of class, writing an 8 page paper, and trying to hang out with me dear friend Homeslice while she's in town, that makes it even more crazy. So I haven't gotten much sleep the last couple nights, but I will totally take the blame for that. Sunday night we were up late playing Clue and just goofing off, and last night we went to see Pirates of the Caribbean for the 2nd time. That movie rocks my socks off. Orlando and Johnny are HOT! Just thought I'd make that declaration. Everyone should go see it, and if you want someone to go with you, give me a call.

So yeah, what's been going on.... We got a dog on Saturday, her name is Ginger, she's a Beagle/Golden Retriever mix. She's a sweetie, but a bit of a pain with her running out the door everytime it opens habit. Otherwise, she's been doing great.

I've calmed down about the whole mission trip thing. The trip is off, I had talked to the missions person at church before but he was mainly just asking what he could do to help like driving or something. Once I get a bit more free time, which should be next week, I want to look into planning a trip for next summer. It may not be New Orleans, because who knows if they'll even be down there then, but something. There are a lot of people in this world who need Jesus, we just need to find them. This time I have every intention of getting full support from the staff and elders for this and I want to create a team of people to organize and advertise instead of just doing it all on my own. I don't have that kind of time. No one person does, but spreading the responsibility among a few people will make it much easier. So keep that in your prayers, and we'll see what happens. I'm determined to make missions a bigger priority in Bethany than it currently is, I'll just have to keep trying until something works.

The Toolman situation has become virtually nonexistant now, so don't even bother to ask. Unfortunately though, I have become extremely unhappy with my single status. I want to find someone, I want to get married, and I want it now. Simple as that. Please do not say the cliches of "it'll happen when you're not looking" or "when you least expect it." That does not help. I personally think that concept is a load of hooey. It has happened to other people when they were looking and there was quite a long period of time when I was not looking and it still didn't happen. I know it'll all happen in God's time and not my own, but this desire has gotten to a point where it's pretty much consuming my thoughts. I'm not able to concentrate on anything. It's even creeping into my dreams at night. I'm feeling very Bruce Almightyish about the whole thing. If you haven't seen that movie, it means I feel like God's ignoring me completely on the issue. I know it's not true, but still. I just wish that God would either take the desire away until it's the right time, or he would bring me my prince. I would prefer the second, but either way, it's better than feeling the way I do now.

So enough of my complaining. I do have some work I have to get done. I hope all is well with everyone. Try to keep your heads attached this week as difficult as it is with the VBS phenomenon.

God bless.

Pepto

Long time again

2006-07-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I've really been bad about updating this thing. I guess it's just not that high of a priority anymore. Anyway, things are still going. Still working, almost done with my Genesis class then I'll start a Philosophy class, the kind that I don't really have to go to because there's 200 people in it.

I don't quite know how to explain how I've been doing. I guess I've been doing ok, but at the same time I'm really frustrated, and kinda sick and tired of almost everything. Basically, I'm stuck in a rut...spiritually, emotionally, physically, the whole smack. All I keep hearing from everyone is that I need to "take care of myself." What that means, I don't know.

I'm not going to hide it anymore. I'm really frustrated with Bethany. I am so disappointed about this proposed trip to New Orleans. I am the only person committed to going at this point and it's supposed to be in less than a month and a half. I've decided that I'm just going to toss it out the window. We're not going. Why? Because there is no "we" about it. It's just I. I'm not talking to any of the Journal Goddesses, because you all either have a baby, or you're pregnant. But there are so many people...people my age, and people that are older, maybe retired even, whatever that can't go for ten million different reasons. I saw something that the church was lacking and I decided to do something about it hoping that I would get support, and I really haven't. Minister and Beef who have both said they want to go have not committed nor have they done anything to get people to go. I just feel like nobody cares about what I have to say because I'm a 22 year old college student. I don't know anything, I don't have a husband and kids to take care of like everyone else, therefore it's easier for me to just go down there for a week. Ok, I'm rambling. Sorry, but I just wanted to get that off my chest.

In other news, I've become quite discontent with my singleness. No particular reason. I'm just tired of waiting for Mr. Wonderful.

Sorry I was so negative, but I'm kinda tired of trying to hide it. Now y'all know why I've been moody. I'm going to go now. I'm still praying for everyone.

God bless.

Pepto

Good news and bad news

2006-06-28T08:11:00.000-07:00

So real quick I'd thought I'd let you all know what's going on. The good news is that I found out why I've been so tired and why I've felt crappy for the last few days. The bad news is that I have a virus. My boss made me go to Student Health Services today, and the Nurse Practitioner said this virus has been going around. So I got sent home to rest. I'm not allowed to eat anything for 24 hours, I have to drink A LOT of water, and I'm taking Promethazine. Great, isn't it? The nurse was like, "You're not taking care of yourself, and you need to. This is your body telling you to go home, get some rest, and take care of yourself." It's pretty bad when the doctor tells you you're not taking care of yourself. Anyway, so that explains why I've felt so stinkin tired lately. I think my moodiness is still a PMS symptom mixed with frustration with work and stuff. Anyway, keep me in your prayers that I'm not dying and that I'll be back to normal within the next couple of days. Love y'all!!

God bless.

Pepto

Grind

2006-06-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

That's kinda what my life feels like right now, a grind. I'm tired. I haven't been packing or anything lately, but I'm just tired. I don't know if it's boredom from the same daily routine, my hormones from PMSing or depression or what. I can't seem to have any energy. I'm still not done unpacking, we haven't really started to decorate the apartment, and we still need to put the porch swing back together. All of that stuff really bothers me, but I just don't have the energy to do it by the time I get home from work. Those of you who have those 9-5 kind of jobs, I don't know how you do it. I honestly think I was much more active and energetic when I was at school until 8 or 9 at night. So if y'all could pray for me, I'd really appreciate it.

In other news, it has now been a week and I have yet to hear from Toolman. I've given up on it, and I just don't care anymore. I mean...I do care, it upsets me a bit, but I'm not going to mope about it. I'm just gettin on with my boring routine life. I'm also still in a financial bind because my financial aid has still not gone through. Wright State sucks! And yes, it is a Wright State problem, not a federal problem. So yeah, I need some prayers there. So maybe the combination of all this stuff has made me really moody. I've been flat out mean lately, and I'm not exactly sure why. I'm hoping it's just PMS, but I guess I'll find out within the next week.

So enough of my griping, I'm gonna go do homework and go to bed. Peace out ladies!

God bless.

Pepto

Quick update

2006-06-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

This will probably short and scatter brained because I'm in class, and I still have to try to pay attention while writing this. I just wanted to let you know how everything is going since I didn't really get a chance to talk to anyone on Sunday because I had to meet our old landlord (who ended up being 2 1/2 hours late, but I got all of the deposit back, so it's ok). We're finally getting settled in to our new home. Our living room is unpacked and most of the kitchen is unpacked, what is most important is that they're both inhabitable now. I still haven't started unpacking the stuff from my bedroom, but I think I'll start working on that tonight. Our fourth roommate, Army Girl is already in the process of moving in and will pay her part in July's rent, so yay!! So everything with the apartment is going quite well, and I'm excited. We have a lot more space than we did in the house, it requires a lot less maintenance, and it's a heck of a lot cheaper. We've already had quite a few visitors so that's pretty cool. I think I'm really going to like living here because a) it's a really nice place and b) the roommate situation is just a lot better with these roomies. I love the girls I'm living with. They're fantastic.

So I'm still pretty tired, but not nearly as much as I have been over the last couple weeks. I've finally had a chance to settle down and have some time to just relax. It's been great, but there's still stuff that I need to get done. My class is going pretty well. Work is ok...I got a raise, and I'm making money and that's the important part. In other news, Toolman sent me a message saying we should have lunch sometime. We'll see how that goes. I'm just going to reply to his message and tell him to call me to set up a time. I'll keep y'all updated, but don't hold your breath, because I know I'm not.

So Praise the Lord, and thank you all for your prayers. They were definitely needed over the last couple weeks, and I really appreciate them. Things are finally starting to look up. I hope all is well with everyone. Keep HBM, Elvis, and Pita Pocket in your prayers with the baby, their apartment, and their trip at Alive. You're all in my prayers!! I love you ladies!

God bless!

Pepto

New Beginnings

2006-06-15T20:00:00.000-07:00

So here I sit in my new bedroom in the basement of my new apartment, stealing wireless from the neighbors. 0:) I'm sure it's hard for you all to believe, but you're not hallucinating, I am updating for the second day straight. I just wanted to let you know that everything went ok. I didn't wreck the U-Haul, and we miraculously got the whole house loaded and unloaded in about 4 1/2 hours. We owe a HUGE thanks to Bianca who didn't actually live with us, therefore didn't need to help us and to Blue Jacket's friend Ranger (I'll just name him after his truck) who didn't even know Bianca and I until today. They were both a great help. I must say though, that two people (Blue Jacket and I) doing the work of four people packing up the house and everything was rather frustrating, but Homeslice couldn't really help her sitation.

So I'll be hittin the hay very soon. We're all totally exhausted, but we're looking forward to getting everything situated over the weekend (between the David Crowder concert, church, and everything else). Thanks for all your comments ladies! Continue to keep us in your prayers!

God bless!

Pepto

A bittersweet ending

2006-06-14T21:13:00.000-07:00

So here I sit in my bedroom in the Roadhouse for the last night ever. It's kinda weird, and definitely a bittersweet ordeal. I have a lot of great memories in this house, but I've also been ready to get out of this house for the last few months. I'll never forget all the good memories here (especially the ones on video), but I am looking forward to our new apartment, a partially new set of roommates, and a whole slew of good memories yet to be experienced.

My apologies again for taking so long to update, but I've been busy non-stop since I last wrote. I've just been going from one thing to another and packing in between. I haven't been sleeping well at all nor have I been eating well. I'm stressed and stretched to the extreme. I'm emotional. I'm exhausted. I finally reached my breaking point today, and I feel bad for those who were in my path. I misunderstood something, and for some reason it just sparked an emotional bonfire. For those of you who were there, I'm really sorry that I just walked out on you. I hope you can understand that I'm really just under a lot of crap right now. It was good that I walked out when I did though, because I lost it once I got in the car and started to drive away. The person that was somewhat responsible (although it really wasn't his fault) called tonight to apologize which made me feel much better. If any of the rest of you felt like I was mad at you or anything, I'm sorry.

The last week has been a time of discoveries, disappointments, pride, and sadness. I've seen a different side of people, some good, some bad. Homeslice is now gone. Everytime I really think about it, it brings tears to my eyes. Even with all the rough times we had, she was still a good friend to me, and I already miss having her around, but I am very thankful that I got to enjoy the last couple of months with her here, and I was very proud to be able to be there to see her get her diploma. Blue Jacket and I have bonded. Monday night we just sat in my car talking for at least an hour or so. It was nice to have someone to share all this stuff with again. It's been awhile since I've felt close enough to someone to really let go and just talk about things. The two of us have spent the last two days packing...tons of fun. Bianca is about to dive into this mess, but I think it will be a good experience. She seems to be enjoying Bethany which is awesome. I love it when other people share the love. Then there's our brand new fourth roommate whom I shall call Army Girl. She just called yesterday (I had sent her a message about a week ago) to tell us that she wanted to live with us. It might not be until July, but it's much better than nothing at all.

So this time of transition is craziness. Saying hello to new people, and saying goodbye to old friends. Finishing my art classes, and working towards admission to Grad School, and moving into a new apartment.

I must ask for your prayers. We're moving out tomorrow, and it's going to be crazy. We have a few guys that have offered to help us in the evening, but not very many. So for a while, it's going to be pretty much just me, Blue Jacket, and Bianca loading up an entire house full of stuff. Homeslice is already in Kentucky and others just have their own lives to tend to, I guess. So just pray that we can get it all accomplished but still be able to get some rest, and pray also that we don't get hurt, and I don't wreck the U-Haul.

I know this was really scatter-brained, but that's how I've been this week. I hope all is well with all of you. I'll have a hard time keeping up with ya, because we might not have internet until early next week or so.

God bless.

Pepto

Apologies

2006-06-06T22:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, it has been a very long time. I have committed my usual sin of procrastinating which has caused me to be extremely busy over the last few weeks getting my work done. In doing so, I have neglected my Journal Pals, and I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

So yeah, school stuff has been really hectic lately, but my grades have been fine even though I put everything off till the last minute. Praise the Lord! I've been really bad at returning phone calls, e-mails, and the like simply because I haven't really even had time to breathe. But everything is settling down now. I have one final tomorrow and then I'm done until next Monday. Some break, huh? Summer quarter will be much easier since I only have one class at a time and I'll never work past 5 pm as opposed to 7 or 8 pm every night. I'm excited about summer. I'm excited about moving into our new apartment although I'm not excited about the costs. It turns out that there was a problem with my Financial Aid, and it has not gone through yet, so I had to pay my first installment of nearly $800 on Monday. So please please be praying that my Aid goes through very soon so I can get some, if not all of that money back and avoid having to pay the next installment. So because of that beefy payment, it's going to make paying the deposit, first month's rent, start up costs for utilities, and renting a U-haul very difficult to do in the next two weeks. So I would really really appreciate some prayers there.

Although I am excited about the new changes of moving and graduating and what not, it is kinda bittersweet. Friends are moving onto different paths. My friend Writer left on Saturday. She's going to grad school in Boston in the fall, so I won't be seeing much of her. Homeslice is moving to Kentucky with her parents. I must say that although I've had my moments with her over the last year and a half, I'm really really going to miss her. This place won't be the same without her. Then there's the friends that I've made recently, most of which are younger. So a lot of them are going home for the summer, but I'll see them again in the Fall, so that's not so bad.

As far as Toolman...the real reason everyone reads. Well, I've given up. I thought things were going well and progressing, but apparently I was wrong. Everything has seemed to come to a screeching halt. Now, maybe it is because he's so busy with finals and stuff, but due to the drasticness of the change, I find that hard to believe. He didn't sit with me at Real Life for the first time since the week I was late (about 7 weeks ago) although he did sit behind me. Then afterwards, I turned around and he said, "I'm gonna go help them tear stuff down," which he always does after Real Life, but then when he's done he always comes to find me and rides with me to happy hour wherever it is. This time, he just disappeared. I had been waiting for like 20 minutes, then I realized that they were all done tearing stuff down, and he was nowhere to be found. I went on to Happy Hour by myself, and found out from a friend of his that he had programming to do. So then, I saw him online Sunday night and I messaged him to tell him about Homeslice's grad party. About 15 seconds after I messaged him, he signed off, and I haven't heard from him since even though I've seen him online quite a bit.

So there it is. I start gaining a little bit of confidence for a change...start having faith that something good might actually happen to me and look at what happens. Yeah, I know I'm throwing myself a bit of a pity party, but I feel entitled to a small one. I'm sure I'll get over it. I always do. I have to. That's the way life goes. So sorry to get everyone's hopes up over the last couple of months just to let you down, but hey...welcome to my world.

In other more important and much happier news...my congratulations and prayers go out to HBM, Elvis, and Pita Pocket!! I'm so excited for them!! Yay!!!

I must be going. I need to get some sleep if I expect to do any good on my last exam. Goodnight y'all.

Pepto

Avoiding homework

2006-05-23T19:48:00.001-07:00

Yeah, I should be writing my philosophy paper, but I'm just not feelin it right now. Anyway...what's been going on. Well, school is winding down, but not before it kicks my butt for a while first. I'll survive though...it's my last difficult quarter as an undergrad. We officially got the apartment in Arlington Village and we do have four people. We move in on June 17th, so if any of ya want to help us move, let me know. We probably won't actually move that day because it's the day of the David Crowder concert, so it will either be the day before or the day after. The trip to New Orleans...well, I'm not getting the kind of response I would have liked thus far, but maybe more people will show interest the day of the meeting...or maybe I'll have to start hounding people about it.

Things with Toolman are going quite well. I've gotten past my whole freakin out phase. I'm at the point where I'm fairly confident that the feelings are mutual, but it's just a matter of time. I still have my moments when I'm going crazy, but for the most part, I'm really glad things are going the way they are...slow pace and everything. Plus, I finally got his phone number today. He thought I had it all along. He was going to help me paint for my installation/performance art class, but when I got there, the paint wasn't there, so that fell through. :( Oh well. I'll see him in a couple of days.

Many of you will be happy to find out that I bought a pair of crocs. They're black. I didn't think I would get them because to be honest, I think they look kinda goofy, but then I tried them on and they were sooo comfy. So I splurged.

So that was a totally shallow and uninteresting update on my life...probably because I know I need to start on this paper. I'll be seeing y'all.

God bless!

Pepto

Avoiding homework

2006-05-23T19:48:00.000-07:00

Broken Road

2006-05-15T22:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, this may or may not be a really long entry, but it will definitely be one of those "pouring my heart out" kind of entries. Do you ever set out on a journey just to find yourself a completely different person you return? Is that journey ever 30 minutes long? I feel like that's what just happened to me tonight. A little bit before 1 AM, I decided to go for a drive because I was rather frustrated and upset about a situation that is not related to anything else I'm going to say in this journal. I left angry, frustrated, confused, upset, etc. etc. I returned refreshed, renewed, and feeling like I understand something that I never did before. My journey took me from my house, out to 675 south to 75 north to 35 east back to 675 north and back to my house. I also stopped to get gas which frustrated me even more, so I set out on 675 really cheesed off. By the time I got to the Wilmington Pike exit, the foggy haze of angery had been lifted. I was no longer even thinking about the original reason I had gone on the drive.

Instead I started to evaluate. Evaluate myself, my life, my walk with the Lord...a little bit of everything. Ever have one of those moments when you just think, "How did I get here? What am I doing here? and Why am I still here?" It's not the kind of questioning where you doubt what you are doing, just the kind of questioning that evaluates. Hitch says, "You can't know where you're going until you know where you've been." Makes sense. So I was thinking about all that, and I couldn't help but think that there's still something being left undone. I've been making great strides lately, and a lot of people have told me so, but I don't deserve the glory, God does, and God alone. It's been very encouraging and uplifting to hear so many people tell me that I'm "remarkable" or "unselfish" or whatever, but I don't deserve that. It's not me that are those things, it's Christ in me. Tessa Welton is not a remarkable or unselfish person by any stretch of the imagination. This whole thought process has led me to believe that I'm not doing enough to show Christ in me and not just me. Maybe that's what's being left undone. For many years, I've felt a need to tell my story somehow. I don't know why, there are a lot of people that have much more outstanding stories than I do, but it's just something I've felt a good portion of my life. Today I spent about 2 hours talking to a woman in my class that I've never really talked to extensively before, but she poured her heart out to me...about how she's a recovering alcoholic and how she worries about her kids, and all kinds of stuff. The whole time I was listening intently but still wondering, "why on earth is this happening?" It seems that people are able to relate to me and I to them somehow. I still don't quite get that thing. This was all happening as I was just starting up 75.

As I was nearing 35, the CD I was listening to starting playing, "God bless the broken road" by Rascall Flatts. Now, I've heard this song a thousand times, but something suddenly clicked. I finally got the song as it was intended for me. For the first time I wasn't listening to it picturing some unknown man that would be my husband. This time I was picturing my Lord and Savior, Jesus. It finally made sense to me. That song doesn't have to be about the road to a husband or wife or whatever. For me, it's about the broken road I took to get to Jesus. Let me stick the lyrics here so y'all can read through them and maybe get what I'm saying a bit better.

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

Beautiful isn't it? To think that all the crap we endured through life was all pointing us to Christ and wherever we are in our lives today. It's amazing...God's perfect plan. I think that's what I got out of my conversation with my classmate today...even with all the crap that happened, I wouldn't change it for the world. I love the person that I have become because I love Christ and I have Christ in me. I can never thank God enough for that. I don't deserve it, but He's given it to me just the same.

God bless!

Pepto

Workin on a Sunday Afternoon

2006-05-07T11:05:00.000-07:00

I can imagine a lot of better things to do. I have work that I should be doing, but I just don't feel like doing it because it is Sunday. So I must apologize for not updating in such a long time. Nothing all that incredible has happened recently except for maybe the fact that plans for a mission trip to New Orleans are now underway. We're having a brief meeting about it next Sunday right after church. Yes, I know it's mother's day, that's why it will be a pretty brief meeting. I'm really excited about going back and taking a whole new batch of people wth me. We're going sometime in August, as far as when specifically it will be, we'll figure that out at the meeting.

Now to the continuing saga with Toolman. Nothing has changed. We still sit together at Real Life (except for this week because I was late). We still talk afterwards and hang out together at happy hour and we still hang out after church on Sundays. Oh...one really cool thing about church...he went home this weekend and I asked him when he'd be back and he said, "I don't know. I really want to come back Saturday night because I feel like Bethany is my church now, but I feel like I should go to my home church when I'm at home. I'll probably come back Saturday night though." As most of you saw, he was there this morning. Cool, isn't it? His birthday was Friday, so I gave him a card and Travel Connect Four because last Sunday we played Connect Four for like an hour and he kept beating me. I also saw him on his birthday and gave him a big hug since that's what he gave me on my birthday.

Anyway...I got to be honest. It's not like you guys don't already know this, but I guess I've never really officially said it. I REALLY want to be with this guy. He's incredible. He's such a strong man of God who has outstanding morals. He was talking to me and one of his guy friends the other night and he was talking about how he doesn't like to watch much television or movies because so many of them have a lot of unnecessary sex scenes which he refered to as 'smut.' Now, that to me, was like wow. Very few guys, even Christian guys have those kind of standards, and most women would give an arm and a leg for one of them including myself. I can be myself around him and he still likes me just the same. I've acted like a complete idiot around him a couple times but yet he continues to hang around. He's solid. He's intelligent. He has a heart to serve. He's a gentleman. He's everything I've wanted and hoped and prayed for for the last 4 years, but it's like he's right there...but I can't get to him. I don't know if it is because it's really not meant to be or if it's that we have to be patient and wait on God's timing. Anyone that has talked to me about this knows that it's been driving me crazy, but miraculously I still haven't stepped over the boundary. I haven't "made a move." I did find out, though, that he has been hurt before. A friend of his was at my house for our campout Friday night and she told me that he dated a girl in high school for quite a while. She said she wasn't absolutely positive, but she was pretty sure the girl was the one that ended it which makes since because Toolman said something a while ago alluding to his heart being broken in the past. So maybe that has something to do with it to.

I've been continually praying about this situation. Praying for clarity, for some sort of definition, some idea as to how it's going to go in the future. God knows the desires of my heart. He knows I want to be with him, and he knows I don't want to get hurt. For the most part, I've just been trusting God to let it happen as it's supposed to happen, but I'm only human. I have my moments when it's driving me up a wall not knowing if this is going anywhere. So many people have said that he must be interested based on how much time he's been spending with me and the things he's been doing, etc, and they've all told me that I just have to be patient. So, is that God's way of telling me, yes he's interested but you just have to wait for me or is it Him testing me on whether I listen to Him or everyone else. I'm so confused about this whole thing. I would appreciate your prayers about it. Pray also that I can guard my heart. I don't want to give my heart to anyone until I know that they will give me theirs in return. The Bible says somewhere (Proverbs I think), "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." There's no doubt about that. Ever notice that when something or someone breaks your heart, your life seems to just stop for a while. You feeling like your world is ending. Yet when something or someone fills your heart with joy you can't help but let that joy spread to every aspect of your life. I think that's what that verse means.

So there it is. My feeling laid out on the line for all to read. Please be prayiing about this mission trip to New Orleans. God has really laid it on my heart to do this, but I'm so afrad there won't be any response. I'm still going nonetheless, but I want other people to have the privelege to experience it with me so please, please pray about it. Write it down somewhere, put in your pocket or something. Do something so that you'll see it every so often and it will remind you to pray about it.

I hope all is well with all of you. You're all constantly in my prayers. I love y'all lots and lots!

God bless!

Pepto

Groovin on a Sunday Afternoon

2006-04-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

Can't imagine any better thing to do. Yeah, so it's been a really good day. First off, worship rocked my socks off this morning. It's so cool that I can hear it 2 or 3 times on Saturday but still be excited when I hear it Sunday morning. The whole feedback issue with Bob's mic was pretty nerve racking, but it worked out ok eventually.

Ok, so lunch. We came back here to the house, and I started cooking while Toolman and Homeslice just watched TV for a while. I started peeling potatoes, and Toolman asked if I needed any help, but I said no because there really wasn't anything else that needed to be done besides peeling potatoes. So then Blue Jacket came home right before it was done. So we all sat at the dining room table to eat and it was pretty good. I made Chicken and noodles, mashed potatoes, and corn. I was going to throw some biscuits in the oven, but I forgot. Anyway, we started eating and Toolman said it was pretty good, so that was good news that I didn't ruin it. Now he knows I can cook. :D After we were all done, I was putting the leftovers away...I gave some to Toolman so he could get a switch from campus food. As I was picking up everyone's plates to rinse them off, he walked over to the sink and I started to take his to rinse it but he said he would do it, so I let him. So then the four of us just sat at the table chatting for a little bit until Blue Jacket got up to do homework, then Homeslice got up to do something, so Toolman and I went out on the back porch and sat on our porch swing (which is where I'm sitting now). We ended up talking until about 4 o' clock. So we were out here for at least an hour to an hour and a half just chatting about roommates, high school, family, hair, etc. Nothing dramatic, just more general getting to know you kinda chat. So then when we realized what time it was, he said he needed to go get some stuff done, but before he left, he replaced the lightbulbs in our living room because the rest of us are too short to do it. Right before he left he just said that time flew by today...and time flies when you're having fun right?

So no big news...no big changes, but it was still good. There are a lot of times when this whole thing is driving me crazy because I don't know if he's interested in me or not...I don't know if anything will happen or if we'll just stay friends. I don't know...and I hate not knowing, but everyone around me keeps telling me that I just need to be patient, which I think I'm doing somewhat well. I'm not pushing anything. Last night I read this book I read a couple years ago called Lady in Waiting. There's a chapter called Lady of Patience, so I'll just have to read that whenever it's starting to drive me nuts.

In other news, it looks like Blue Jacket and I have found a place to live and we just might live with Homeslice and Bianca because Homeslice may stay in Dayton after all and Bianca rocks. So that would be really cool. We found a place that has 2 bedrooms and a full basement (so really 3 bedrooms) that will cost us $163.75 a piece. Pretty stinkin awesome in my opinion.

I also just applied for grad school at Wright State. I applied for the marriage and family counseling (M.A.) program. I need to take the GRE or the MAT, but I have a lot more time than I did if I would have applied to CBS.

So yeah, it's been an awesome day...I mean, a good meal, talking to a great guy, hanging out with awesome friends, gorgeous weather, and Ritter's frozen custard. You can't beat that. Well, I'm gonna go read some Philosphy stuff. I'll be seeing y'all.

God bless!

Pepto

Sweetness

2006-04-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know what you all want to hear, so I'll just get to the point because it's late, and I'm tired.
Yes, I saw Toolman today. He saw me in the lobby area and came up to talk to me, and we talked for quite a bit about classes, our weekends, etc. Real Life was starting before we finally decided to sit down, and yes, we sat together again. :D So Real Life was pretty awesome, it would take a while to tell you all about it, but towards the end they did a slide show from our trip to New Orleans. Right as they were starting it I turned to him and said that I was going back and that I wanted to take a group from the church (for those of you who don't know I'm going to be working on planning a trip to New Orleans for Bethany where the only cost involved is the cost of gas to get down there). So he said, "you would happen to be going around July 16th would you?" So I said, "I don't know. Why?" "Because I'm going back there then with my church. It was one of the first things I did when I got back. I was just like 'I have to go back there.'" So how stinkin AWESOME is that? There were also like three or four times through the course of the evening that we said the same thing at the same time...almost like finishing each other's thought...it was weird. It gets better though.

After Real Life was over, we parted ways for a little bit. He was talking to a friend of his, and I was talking to a couple friends of mine. Then when we were on our way out, he and I were walking together and just talking. He said he wasn't going to go to happy hour because it's been a rough week because of school. Then we started talking about school, and how he likes to do a lot of hands-on work which lead us to talking about Habitat for Humanity (backflash: last week I told him that I applied to volunteer with Habitat because I enjoyed the New Orleans trip so much, and he said that he was thinking about doing the same thing). Well, the Habitat thing doesn't look like it's going to work out too well because they need people during the week and neither of us can do it, so he wants to find some way to raise money to help people out by painting houses or fixing up stuff for them for free (just like we did in New Orleans) around here. Cool, istn't it? That lead us into just talking about how awesome it is to serve the Lord and how when you're doing it in a big way especially (like the trip) all the worries and troubles just fade away because you're not focusing on yourself anymore. All this somehow lead us into talking about Bethany and how much we both like it because it's so personal and everyone is genuine and that kind of stuff. So I'm pretty certain he'll be a regular at Bethany as long as he's here for school. I must say that my interest in him grows everytime I talk to him because everytime I talk to him I discover more and more that he is a strong man of God who wants to serve people and serve Christ. What more can you ask for?

So yeah, even though he said he wanted to go home to get some rest we still ended up talking for like 20 minutes after that, and I'm going to fix a nice lunch for him after church on Sunday. I figured he was tired of campus food, so I thought it be nice to cook a good meal for him plus it's a good chance to spend more time with him. And it's not like I asked him out on a date or anything, so it all works out quite well. By the way, he's growing a goatee...and I like it.

So there it is. There's lots more going on...stuff like planning the New Orleans trip, applying to grad school for marriage and family counseling, classes are going well, roommate relationships are going well. Things are going quite well right now, so I'm just waiting for that attack. I definitely need to spend some more time in the word since it is the sword of the spirit. It's a good weapon for spiritual warfare. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to enjoy what I have now.
I hope all is well with all of my avid readers. I love you all, and I'm praying for everyone. Peace out.

God bless!

Pepto

Sorry it's been a while

2006-04-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I've gotten really bad about updating lately. I'm sorry for all you avid readers. All is well in the world of Pepto. Spring quarter is in full swing, and it's not that bad. It's kinda rough having a total of about 35 hours of work and school spread over just 4 days every week, but it's really nice to have Fridays off. Today was great. I got to hang out with Monkey for a while. We went to the park and then just came back here and watched a movie. After she left, I cut the front yard for the first time this year then I cleaned up the back patio and cleaned up the branches laying all over our backyard. I was going to cut the grass back there, but the ground was really wet so I decided not to. Instead I just relaxed on our porch swing until it started raining. Then I just read and watched a couple movies. Yeah, I'm sure this is so exciting to read.

ANYWAY, my classes are going pretty well. I have to do a lot of reading for a couple classes, but no big deal. My course load this quarter is much lighter than it was last quarter. I've also been working 15+ hours a week. I've finally been doing inventory control...a job I've been wanting for nearly 2 years. It's a lot of work, but at least it gives me some more hours and I'm not just sitting doing nothing. Plus I can leave early if I need to.

In other news, I'm going to North Carolina next weekend to visit my parents and go to the beach. It'll be a nice break since I didn't actually get a "break" over Spring Break. Most of you know that I was thinking about asking Toolman to go, but I decided against it. It's too soon. Maybe if I go again in a couple months, then I'll ask because it would be really cool for him to be able to see the ocean for the first time. I've also decided that I want to try to get involved with Habitat for Humanity. I enjoyed doing all that contruction kind of stuff in Louisiana and ever since then I've wanted to find a way to help people in that capacity all the time. So yeah, not only do I want to get involved, but I'd really like to get some people from Bethany in on it too. I really want people to think of Bethany as a church that serves people in the name of Christ. So I'm gonna try, and we'll see how it goes.

Ok, now to the part you're all actually reading this for. I purposefully put it at the end to make sure you read the whole thing. Everything's going fine with Toolman. Nothing significant has happened, we're not officially dating or anything, but we're still hanging out and getting to know each other. I must say that I was so totally stoked that he showed up at church Sunday morning without me even prompting him to come. Not only that, but he came to the Crucible as well. He seems like he's interested in coming to Bethany regularly because he said he really likes it and hasn't really had a set church around here. So cool beans. I saw him at Real Life last night and he sat with me. :D It's kinda weird though because people are starting to give us that "what's going on here" kind of look. Doesn't bother me too much. We went to happy hour again and I let him drive around in the parking lot for more practice. He did much better this time. It was a lot of fun. The only downside to all of this is that there is almost always other people around. Which isn't all that bad, but it seemed like the little time that we did have alone, we both opened up a little bit more. He said he would go hiking with me this weekend, but he was going home to visit his family which also means he won't be at church this Sunday, plus I won't see him at Real Life Thursday because I'll be on my way to NC. Maybe I'll see him at some point during the week.

So there's the update. I hope it didn't let you down. Keep praying for the whole situation, and I will keep you posted. I'm gonna spend the rest of my evening relaxing so I can get some stuff done tomorrow. I love ya ladies!!

God bless!

Pepto

The scoop

2006-03-27T19:19:00.001-08:00

Ok, so you've all requested to hear more about Toolman, so here it goes. On the ride down to Louisiana, we sat next to each other in the captain's chairs in the middle of the van. We ended up talking to each other a good portion of the way home about a lot of various things...school, friends, family, etc. etc. Just general getting to know you kind of stuff. Then we got down there Sunday around 12:30ish, but we weren't allowed to work because we had to go through orientation before we went out in the field. Toolman was really upset because he wanted to work...it was the whole reason we were down there. So he managed to find some way to do something...he started moving around fallen lightpoles with a forklift thingy. I was pretty impressed by that because the rest of us were just kinda lollygaggin. This is when I started to pay a little more attention to him. The next day we went to our first work site which was Aunt Sally's, and I just payed attention from a distance and noticed that he worked hard, and not only that he was a pretty sweet guy because he talked to Sally and gave her a hug and stuff. It was cute. So then that evening I took my guitar and went outside to play some praise songs. My new friend Monkey went with me because she can actually sing well, and I can't. Anyway, he came out with us and joined us. At first he kept talking about how he can't sing well and stuff, but then he was singing anyway because he just wanted to praise the Lord. That's rare...a guy who isn't confident in his singing but sings anyway. So then I was really paying attention to him. Different people came and left while we were singing but Toolman always stayed. Then it got down to me, Toolman, Carpenter Girl, and another guy. We all sat around and talked, but eventually it got to be mainly Toolman and I talking. We talked about all kinds of stuff, but mostly photography because it's something he's interested in, and so am I as most of you know. So we talked for about an hour and a half or so before we finally went to bed.

The next day I started to notice a trend. It seemed like whenever we weren't working, Toolman would go to wherever I was and Carpenter Girl would go to wherever he was. Hmmm...interesting. So that night, we all went outside again to praise Jesus which was so cool. Quite a few people were joining us for a while, and it was pretty awesome that I was kinda leading it because I had the guitar. Anyway, my arm got tired after a while so I decided to quit, but then Toolman, Carpenter Girl, this other guy, and I sat around talking. Once again, it was mainly Toolman and I talking until I decided to go to bed.

Then Wednesday came, and this is where the story really starts to take shape. Half way through the day, I hurt my back, so I had to go sit out in the van and try to relax for a while. Toolman was the first person who came specifically to check on me. He just wanted to make sure I was ok. Then we went to the next site. It was only me, Toolman, CG, and Snake Dance there for a while because our leader took the rest of the crew back when he got more supplies. We were not really doing anything productive, but at some point CG said something kinda dumb and Toolman just said jokingly, "Shut up, woman." So then she said that saying woman was like saying go make me a pie. I said it's usually more like, "Go get me a beer woman." So then Toolman goes, "She's right. Tessa, will you please go get me a beer." Now, I know we were just joking around, but he called her woman and called me by my name and said please. Anyway, when we were done, I was going to drive the other van back to camp, so I said "who wants to ride with me?" and Toolman was like, "I do!" then CG followed. Do y'all see the trend? Well, later that evening, we all went to Wal-Mart. When we were getting in the van, CG waited until everyone else got in to make sure she could sit next to Toolman, so not only did she sit next to him, but they had to share a seat. I was not happy, BUT he kept turning around to talk to me during the ride. Then we got to Wal-mart and we all went our seperate ways...and Toolman went with me. We ended up sitting in those kids couches in the toy section and talking for about half an hour about toys and growing up and stuff. Then CG came and found us and saw us together and she was not a happy camper.

Thursday came, and Monkey worked very hard to resolve the problem with CG and succeeded. We all had a girls' night and got her to open up and got to know her better, and everything was fine from there on out. Nothing significant happened with Toolman that day, but I did notice something. I was taking a break while we were working and I said that I couldn't do something because I was too short or something like that and Toolman was nearby. So when I went back into the house, he was doing exactly what I said I couldn't do. It was kinda like indirect teamwork. That evening he also asked me to be his "nametag buddy". Yeah, it sounds dumb, but I thought it was cute. It was kinda our inside thing.

Friday was our last day. Most of the day nothing eventful happened until we were getting ready to leave. I was standing, waiting to get in the van and he came up behind me and started giving me a shoulder rub. I didn't ask him to do it, he just did it. Yeah...yeah. So then we started heading back to Ohio. After a while, Monkey thought it would be a good idea for us all to go around and say something encouraging about each other. So everyone started with me because I was in the back of the van, but when it was Toolman's turn he said he wanted to start in the front and work his way back to me. So when he was talking about everyone else it was a lot of stuff like "nice personality" "good work ethic" , etc. But then he came to me and said that he really liked getting to know me and talking to me on the way down and the night that we talked about photography. He said he felt like we had a lot in common. Then he talked about the day I hurt my back. He said he saw how upset I was because I wasn't able to help anymore and he realized that I was for real. That I was really there to serve God and help people and that he thought it was so cool to see someone so dedicated to Christ. Whoa. I was floored.

So after we all slept for a while and we were getting closer to Ohio, I suggested that we all go to Chuck E. Cheese's for my birthday and Toolman was all about it. So that evening, I sent an e-mail to the whole team and also invited everyone to church since it was my last Sunday playing guitar because I'm going to start running sound again. A couple hours later, Toolman sent an e-mail saying he'd be there.

So Sunday comes, and he actually shows up. I was on cloud nine. It was so cool to see him at my church. After church we all went back to the house and just hung out for a little while until we left for Chuck's. Unfortunatly nobody else could join us for various reasons. But it was fun nonetheless. When we were about to sit down, he said that he was going to go get a drink and asked me if he could get me anything, so he got my drink which I thought was really sweet. There were other little things here and there, but this story is already long enough.

So yeah, there's still a lot missing from the story. I don't know what will come of this. I know that I at least have made a great guy friend, and you never know it could be more. I'm praying that it will be. It would be cool if y'all could pray for it too. A few people have said that they notice "something." So we'll see. Sorry it was so long. I'll keep y'all updated. Lots of love ladies!!!

God bless!

Pepto

P.S. Go to http://www.ob.org/projects/hurricane_relief/blog/tara_smith.asp and scroll down to the "nest of rats" story. That's us and Aunt Sally. Toolman is the guy on the left side of the picture.

The scoop

2006-03-27T19:19:00.000-08:00

It was AMAZING!!

2006-03-25T21:55:00.000-08:00

Ok, so this will probably be a fairly long post because I have a whole week to catch up and it was chock full of awesomeness. So as most of you know I went down to New Orleans this week for spring break. We actually stayed outside of New Orlean's in a town called Slidell. Our "camp" was in an abandoned grocery store and parking lot. The girls had bunk beds in a couple different room, and the guys had cots in the old cooler and a room across from the cooler. Then we had a meal tent and shower trailers out in the parking lot. All in all, it was pretty nice, and we were definitely fed well. A group of menonites cooked breakfast and dinner for us at camp and then we had MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) for lunch. Those MREs rocked my socks.

So anyway, we got down there Sunday afternoon but couldn't work until we went through orientation on Monday morning. So we just hung out around the camp and then later in the evening we drove to New Orleans. Even though it was dark, we could see so much destruction and abandonment in the city. It was crazy. I thought that there wasn't much left to do since it's now nearly 7 months after the hurricane, but I was wrong. We found that to be even more true when we actually got to go out and work.

The first work cite we went to was for a lady named Sally. I'll never forget her for the rest of my life. When we were walking up she was crying and telling us how thankful she was that we were there to help her and that we were all angels sent by God. Then she went around to give us all a hug and said, "I can see the love of Jesus in all of your faces." That was so awesome, I'll always remember it. But I must backtrack a bit. On our way to Sally's we got lost, so we had to turn around and then we were sitting at an intersection and noticed a guy who's car had died, so we pulled into a gas station and went out to help him push his car. Then we were waiting around so we could jump his car and we started talking to him. He told us that it was so nice to see other believers around. He kept saying that everyone down there really appreciates us coming down, especially us being a bunch of college students on Spring Break. So that was pretty cool. Now back to Sally's house. We really just had to clean out two of her bedrooms and a bathroom. It took all afternoon, but we got it done. She was so thankful, and she got everyone's address so she could send us something to thank us. It was so awesome being around her and working together with my team.

Speaking of my team. I ended up not driving down, which was such a good thing. We all rode in a van and it was so much fun because we got to know each other, and then working together, we got to know each other even more. By the end of the week, we were like family. There's more to that, but you'll have to talk about it with me in person. :D

The second site we went to was this 84 year old lady named Pearl. She was a sweet old lady with a real Louisiana accent. It took us two days to finish the job, but we got it done. When we finished, she gave us a check to give as a donation to Operation Blessing (the organization we were working for). Then she told us to tell our parents what a wonderful job they did rasing us because we're such wonderful people. The next job we went to was our attempt to hang drywall. We did ok, but it was pretty good considering none of us had really done it before.

The next day we finished gutting out a house and got to meet a team workin on the house next to us that was a church group from Indiana. They were pretty cool. We all ate lunch together and they were envious of our MREs. It was funny. The last day we built a little shelter house thingy that we called a shanti for a well pump for a lady named Pauline. It took a lot longer than we expected so we left like 6 hours later than we had originally planned, that's ok though.

On the trip back we talked about what we learned from the experience then a little bit later, we all went around and talked about the strengths that each other had. It was really cool. Yeah, so I might get to see some of the crew later today because we're going to try to go to Chuck E Cheese's for my birthday. By the way, if any of y'all want to come, that would be cool.

There's so much more to the story, but this is getting pretty long and I'm getting kinda tired. So I might right more later or I might have to just tell y'all in person. I will say though, that God is AWESOME! I grew so much this week and found new brothers and sisters. It was so encouraging to see these people that have lost everything but are still so hopeful and thankful that we were there to help. It felt awesome to serve people in the name of Jesus. I hope I get the chance to do something like that again.

Well, I'm gonna hit the hay soon. Peace out.

God bless!

Pepto (a.k.a. Birthday Girl) :D

Update: Ok, so it looks like a guy from my crew is going to be at church tomorrow. I'll call him Toolman. So if I seem like a nervous wreck, it's because I am, but I'll also be in a GREAT mood.

Wish you

2006-03-23T04:38:00.001-08:00

HELLO FROM LOUISIANA!!! This will be short because this computer is slower than molasses. I just wanted to let you all that I've been having a GREAT time and met lots of totally AWESOME people. It's been an incredible experience. I've made some new life-long friends including some guys. I know...shocking, isn't it? I must be going now. I'll tell y'all all about it when I get back. Love ya ladies!!!

God Bless!!

Pepto

Wish you

2006-03-23T04:38:00.000-08:00

It's over.

2006-03-17T22:58:00.000-08:00

Winter quarter is finally over, and thank God for that. The last two weeks have been a nightmare in the area of school work. I've definitely had a few really late nights/early mornings. It doesn't matter anymore, it's all over with.

In other news...I leave for New Orleans tomorrow. We're not leaving till 11 pm, so I might be able to make it to rehearsal. It just depends on how long the wedding reception lasts, plus I might need to get a little sleep in case I'm driving. Anyway, it's a 17 hour drive so It will be quite a trip. I'm really excited about it, but I'm just a little nervous too. So keep me in your prayers this week. I'll really miss all of you.

I've been hanging out with Blue Jacket and Homeslice a lot lately. It's been great. We've really been bonding. We've been goofing off a lot and having a lot of fun, but we've also been serious and gotten closer to each other. In fact, Blue Jacket and I decided to be roommates again next year. That's exciting. She couldn't find a roommate, and I can't really afford to live alone, and we get along really well so it made sense. The good thing is though, both of us have other friends, and she'll still be going to WSU and I won't...so we won't get into one of those situations where you spend way too much time together. I think it will work out quite well.

So yeah, I need to go to bed because I have a loooooooong day ahead of me tomorrow...like a 36 hour day since we'll be driving through the night. I hope everyone has a great week, and I'll miss ya. Love ya ladies!!!

God bless!

Pepto

Rough road

2006-03-08T15:52:00.000-08:00

Yeah, sorry it's been so long. Life's been pretty hectic and rough lately. This week has just been terrible. Monday started it all off. I spent a considerable amount of money on supplies for my final portfolio in photography...a lot more than I wanted to, so I wasn't too happy about that. Work was ok, not too bad, I just didn't feel like being there. Then I got a phone call from some company saying if I didn't my balance in full within 2 days, they were going to "seek judgement" against me. So I flipped out, called my parents, etc. etc. My parents told me not to worry about it though so I was fine after that until I went to the print lab. I spent about 3 hours there working on my zinc plate and when I was finished, I had pretty much ruined it, so that was upsetting. I was tired so I just went home planning to eat something real quick then go to bed. Well, I had a pretty hard time getting to sleep because I can't get to sleep if I can hear people talking and the roomies were talking. So I didn't get a whole lot of sleep.

Tuesday started off by waking up late. I barely made it to class in time, but I made it nonetheless. I had realized Monday night that I did't have my wallet with me, but I thought I had just left it at work so I didn't worry about it. I went to work after class to see if it was there, and it was not. I checked the lost and found downstairs, and it wasn't there. So I searched my car, my room, everthing...nowhere to be found. So I had to call and cancel my cards that were in there. I then went to Taste of Elegance to order a cake, but I couldn't pay for it yet since I didn't have an ID so I could use a check. That sucked. Then I went to McDonald's and used the little bit of cash I had to get a Double Cheeseburger and a McChicken. I get home, open the bag and there's a Fish filet and a small fry. I was hungry so I ate it. I then went to painting class and gradually started to feel really achy and my throat got sore and I felt like I was running a fever. Great...my day just gets better. So I went to work, and by the time I got off, I really was not feeling very well on top of the fact that I was just exhausted which was bad because I still had a long night ahead of me. I came home to watch House, eat dinner, and grab some stuff then I headed to the photo lab because my final portfolio due this morning. I got home at around 4:30 am and made it to bed around 5 am. Not good when you're getting sick. My alarm went off for 35 minutes this morning before I finally woke up which is bad because it was right by my head. I got up and went to photo class in my PJs, went through my critique, came home, and slept. It was good to get some rest, but I'm still really tired and achy all over. I also coughed up some phlegm and there was blood in it. I talked to my parents for a little bit and they told me to go to the VA Hospital. I can't because I have no ID or insurance card. So my mom told me to get Mucinex. I can't because if I write a check, they need to see my ID. So I'm just kinda stuck. So I'm gonna try to go get a new license tomorrow if I'm not dead so I can go to the hospital.

So if y'all could keep me in your prayers, I would really appreciate it. I need to try to find something to eat here because I'm starving. I hope all is well with everyone out there.

God bless!

Pepto

Can't sleep

2006-02-19T22:50:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so it's almost 2 am and I am just not tired. I don't know why...I didn't have any caffeine today. I did take like a 20 minute nap but considering how exhausted I've been from moving furniture yesterday, I should be tired by now. Anyway...my week was so-so. I spent my Single's Awareness Day at the VA Hospital. That was tons of fun. I spent about 2 1/2 hours in the waiting room only for the doctor to tell me to come back if my knee isn't better in two weeks as opposed to the urgent care doctor telling me to get it checked if it isn't better in a few days (which is why I went back to the hospital.) So yeah, I pretty much wasted a whole day. I wasn't happy about it. The rest of the week was pretty normal until I went to Portsmouth to help my parents pack up their furniture and stuff into a U-haul. That was a bittersweet experience. It's weird that I may never see the house I grew up in but when I really thought about it, about 95% of the memories I have in that house are bad. I made it back here just in time to get to Praise Team practice which was awesome as usual except for the fact that I was so incredibly exhausted and my whole body was super sore. I toughed it out, then I came home, ate dinner, and soaked in the tub...that was nice. I got a good night's sleep then got up and headed to the church early to practice "Show Me Your Glory". I got it down, but it just wasn't smooth so I just let Acoustic (my fellow rhythm guitarist) play the lead on it. While I was practicing Elvis showed me some stuff and gave me a few tips, so that was cool. I really do want to get better...which I have been because I've actually been practicing, but I still have A LOT more to learn. Anyway, the service was AWESOME. The longer am at Bethany, the more involved I get, and the more I get to know people, the harder it gets to think about leaving. The people at this church have become my family, and I just don't want to leave them. We'll see though. It's in God's hands ulimately. He'll put me where He wants me.

Anyway, I had lunch then watched a lot of VH1 then took a short nap, headed to the crucible then spent 4 hours at Women's Group. I love women's group. For a long time I didn't like it because I felt like I didn't fit in because I was younger and not married, but it really doesn't matter anymore. I love being there, spending time with everyone, talking to everyone, and laughing with everyone. Which is why I stayed for 4 hours.

I came home and hung out with Blue Jacket and Homeslice for a while which was fun. Now I'm going to attempt to go to bed. We'll see how that goes. I got a lot to do tomorrow because I didn't do it today because I was too tired. So yeah...I'll be busy tomorrow. I hope all is well with all of
y'all. Love ya bunches!!

God bless!

Pepto

It's official.

2006-02-13T08:04:00.000-08:00

Ok, this is going to be quick because I need to eat lunch and get to class. Anyway, it's offical that I'm going to New Orleans. I registered and paid last night and it ended up being $30 instead of the original $70 that I thought it would be! Praise the Lord!!! So yeah, I'm really excited about going even though I know it will be a draining and humbling experience. I'm just pumped that I'm actually going to be able to do something about it instead of just watching all the destruction on tv.

Practice Saturday night and worship yesterday morning were both AWESOME!!! I love being a part of the praise team so much. The more I think about it, the more I think I really don't want to leave. That's something I thought about yesterday. I've finally found a church that I absolutely love with people that really are like the family that I always wanted and never had. (I'm having some family issues right now if you can't tell, but it's with aunts and cousins not my parents.) Anyway...I've finally found a church...I don't want to leave it now, but it's not about what I want it's about what God wants, so we'll see. It's all up in the air for the time being.

My parents are doing pretty well. My mom got a job as a waitress which she isn't thrilled about, but she's happy she has a job. She's going to keep looking to see if she can get something better, but she has a job for now. They're coming back to Ohio this coming weekend to get their furniture, so I'm going to P-town Friday night and Saturday to help them pack up and stuff. I will be back in time for practice though, so don't worry.

School is going just fine. I've been slacking a little bit lately, but it won't kill me. I have a little breathing room, which I talked about last week. As of right now I pretty much have Bs in everything which is about the best I can do. Each class requires so much time and effort that if I put in an A worthy effort in any one class, the rest will suffer which I don't want. Speaking of that, I need to print off my paper and get ready for class. So I will be seeing y'all! Love ya lots ladies!

God bless!

Pepto

I'm a klutz.

2006-02-10T09:48:00.000-08:00

Yeah, ok...so I'll start with yesterday. Printmaking was pretty good, but then I decided to skip Painting because I haven't missed a class yet and I just wanted a break. So instead I hung out with TV Dinner for a while then came back and just relaxed. I woke up around 6ish and got a shower and made myself look hot (just kidding). Then I went to pick up Writer so we could go get Chinese. This is where the fun began. As I was walking the 10 steps from my car to her door, I fell...I turned my ankle a bit and went down straight onto my left knee. I have not felt such pain in quite a while. So when Writer answered the door I had this terrible look on my face and just asked for ice immediately. I was still in pain, but decided to go on my way anyway. Driving was interesting since I have to use my left leg to push in the clutch. Anyway, we went to China Garden. It was a little more expensive than I expected, but it was yummy. Then we went to Real Life. I sat through the whole thing with ice on my knee. I felt stupid. Anyway, afterwards I just came home and rested. I went to bed and I was feeling ok. Well, the phone rang this morning and I got up to answer it and this intense sharp pain just shot through my whole leg. So I decided it might be a good idea to just get it checked out to make SURE that it isn't anything serious. So after Blue Jacket got out of class, she took me to Urgent Care. They did an x-ray, and told me that it was just really badly bruised. The doc said that sometimes if ligaments are damaged in falls like that, it takes a while to show up so if it doesn't get any better or if it gets worse, I'll have to go see a physician and probably get an MRI. But for now, she just told me to keep ice on it, take ibuprofen for the pain, and rest. So I'm fine. It was good to know that it was nothing serious. I just figured since I sprained my right knee years ago and it hurts all the time now because I didn't take care of it that it would be a good idea to make sure this one was taken care of.

So yeah, I'm just going to be chillin out on the couch for the afternoon, but then I'm hanging out with Writer to celebrate "Singles Awareness Day" which is known to all of you as Valentine's Day. That will be fun. We're gonna make some dinner and then watch Just Like Heaven or the opening ceremony of the olympics or both. Blue Jacket and her friend Costume Designer might join us which will be really cool.

Okie dokie, I'm gonna go watch Family matters. I hope all is well with everyone. I'm always keeping you in my prayers. Love ya ladies!!

God bless!

Klutzo...I mean Pepto

Finishing from yesterday

2006-02-07T10:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, so yeah...the Chili Bowl, then I came home and finished watching the game while studying for my art history midterm which I think I did fairly well on. That was about the only upside to yesterday (Monday). The day was just kinda blah. Nothing went terribly wrong but nothing really went right. Just one of those days, ya know? It was also my 4 year anniversary of singleness. That's a long time. I got kinda bummed about it, but I'm fine today. Anyway, I got online to check on the classes I was planning to take for Spring to make sure they're still open. Well, Color photography, the class I've been looking forward to for the last year, was CLOSED! So I e-mailed the prof to see if he could sign me in. Well, this morning I saw him, so when I got a chance, I went to talk to him. Unfortunately he said that since I don't need it to graduate and there are other people who do need it to graduate, that I should just go ahead and find another class to take. So that really sucks. I just registered for Installation and Performance...that will be a wierd one I'm sure. Anyway, today will be a long one...close to an all-nighter. Once again it's my own fault, but the last few days I've just been tired. I feel like I've constantly had a ton of stuff to do, and I'm ready for a break. Fortunately, after tonight it I get a bit of breathing room. I have a 1-2 page paper due on Monday and then nothing for another week and a half. So that will be wonderful.

So say a little prayer for me tonight as I'll be in the photo lab into the wee hours of the morning with the creeps and weirdos. I'll be seeing ya!

God bless!

Pepto

The boss is out for now

2006-02-06T13:08:00.000-08:00

Yeah, the bosses are at a meeting, so I thought I'd update my journal because I'm bored and I didn't bring any homework to do. Anyway, I had a pretty good weekend. Friday I had dinner with Writer and then we hung out at Barnes and Noble for a bit then we went to see the Narnia movie (my 5th time her 4th). It was fun. Then I went home and read. Then I got up Saturday and read, and I finished the last book of the Narnia series. It was nice to just kinda veg out and be a bum for a while. But once again, I'm going to pay for it this week. Praise team practice started out frustrating, and I still don't completely understand why. The first song we rehearsed really wasn't difficult musically, but we struggled with it for some reason. I dunno, but then we took a bit of a break and when we started back everything was fine. After practice, I ran to Meijer, ate dinner, then practice Knees to the Earth for like an hour and a half, then I went to bed.

Sunday, I got up and went to the Heritage service. I enjoyed it. It was nice to just sit back and enjoy it. During Sunday school, I ran to Tim Horton's to get some coffee and spent the rest of them time practicing Knees to the Earth. I ran through it with Elvis once to make sure I was playing the right thing and to make sure I would actually be heard. Well, by the time we got to the second song in the worship set, I couldn't hear myself at all with all of my volume controls maxed out and playing as hard as I could. So sure enough, when we got to Knees to the Earth, nobody could really hear me and all of that extra practice seemed like it went to waste. I've been getting pretty discouraged about that lately. I've been getting discouraged because I feel like I'm playing my heart out and nobody can even hear it so what's the point? I feel completely unnecessary which is a crappy feeling to have. I know...I'm playing to worship God and not please others which is why I keep doing it and why I do play my heart out when we're up there. Ok, enough venting. Back to the rest of my day...I spent the whole afternoon baking which I hope everyone enjoyed. Then I went to drop a couple cupcakes off for my boss, pick up a friend and headed to the Chili-Bowl which was awesome. Whoever had the idea of getting hotdogs from Skyine: you're a genius! I had some Chili on my hot dogs...don't know whose it was, but it was good and then I had some of the White Chicken Chili, don't know whose that was either but it was good.

Gotta go

New Orleans or bust

2006-02-02T20:06:00.000-08:00

Ok, so some of you may remember that back in October sometime, God lit a fire under my butt to do hurricane relief work in New Orleans. At the time, I had no idea when or how I would get there, but I knew I HAD to go. It wasn't a matter wanting to go, it was clear to me that God was telling me to. So I've been waiting ever since then for the opportunity to go. I thought for a while I would be going with a group from Bethany, but nothing has been mentioned of it since and I don't see anything happening soon. BUT, a group from Campus Crusade for Christ is going. We usually have two spring break trips: Chicago at a cost of $150 and Panama City, Florida at a cost of around $290. This year, however, we're going to New Orleans to help with the hurrican relief effort instead of going to Florida. The cost: $70!!! I knew a couple weeks ago that they were going to go down there, but whether I could go depended on the cost, so now that I found out it only costs 70 bucks, I'm so going. I am so excited, but I know that it will definitely be a humbling experience. Even the information sheet they gave us said that you should be prepared to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained but walking with the Lord in the end. So I can't wait. My parents may be a little bummed because this means I won't be able to visit them over Spring Break, but I think they'll definitely support me in this.

In other news...I got home at almost 2 in the morning last night from the print shop. Then I had a lot more to do this morning and I still didn't get done quite in time, but I got done about 30 minutes past the end of class. My prof didn't mind, she was very understanding and she knew that I had been working my butt off on this stuff. I could have gotten done earlier if I had not gone to CAYAC, and I knew that ahead of time, but I would hate to miss it. I love it so much, a part of me wishes we could have it everyday, but then it wouldn't be as special. HBM and Elvis rock my socks for doing this especially since all the effort is only for one person thus far. I love you guys! Fortunately, my painting class was just a critique today which was wonderful because I don't think I would have had the energy to stand for 3 1/2 more hours today. Instead I dozed off while sitting. OH yeah...my parents found an apartment in NC, so that's cool. I might try to go visit them one weekend in April for their birthdays...it depends on if I can afford to miss a day or two of class and work. We'll see.

Ok, well...I'm gonna go read. I'm now on book 6 of 7 in the Chronicles of Narnia series. I'm determined to finish them by the end of next week. I don't think it will be that hard. Anyway, I hope all is well with everyone out there. I'm keeping you in my prayers!!!

God bless!

Pepto

Hump day

2006-02-01T06:47:00.000-08:00

Yes, it is Wednesday...woohoo!! I'm really starting to like Wednesdays even though I'm usually rushing to get stuff done that's due on Thursday. I think it's because we have CAYAC and I enjoy it so much. It should be hard to go because I have so much homework to do tonight, but it really isn't. I'll get to all the school stuff afterwards. So it may be a late night, but I wouldnt' change it.

Anyway...I looked into CBS. I have to take the GRE (Graduate Record Examination). Yeah, it costs $115 which I think is pretty outrageous to have to pay that much to take a test...nobody likes taking tests. I'll do it anyway. I haven't told my parents about it yet, but I guess it's not really THAT important to tell them at this point. As I've told most of you, them being in North Carolina has no influence on my decision whatsoever, and nothing is definite yet anyway. So yeah, I'll be workin on all that stuff over the next month.

In other news...it's another typical week of school. I've taken advantage of my free time...unfortunately a bit too much. So I have a lot to do to catch up, but it's my own fault. It's not too bad. I'm not stressing out too much, I just have a lot to get done tonight and this weekend. I'm now over half way done with the 5th book of the Narnia series...Voyage of the Dawn Treader. It's pretty good. I like it. In case any of you cared. I got a new phone number. It's a 937 number so now if any of y'all need to call me, it's not long distance anymore. :D

Ok, well I'm gonna read for a bit then run to the bank and get some lunch, etc. Peace out.

God bless!

Pepto

Good day

2006-01-29T19:12:00.000-08:00

So yeah...worship this morning rocked my socks. It was awesome. I asked my grandma what she thought about it and she said she thought it was great...she said it's the same God she always sees at home. So that was cool. The sermon was awesome too. I must give some props to preacher, he's been doing quite well lately. Some of the stuff he said hit close to home and was kinda difficult to hear, but it was necessary. My dad said the same thing in fact he said, "he kinda beat me over the head," but he liked it nonetheless.

After the service we went to Cracker Barrel for lunch...it was quite a long wait, but man their food is GOOOOOOD. It was fun just chattin with them and everything. Both of my parents said that they really felt like everyone at Bethany genuinely care about people and my mom said she can tell that everyone really cares about me a lot and that's important to her. So yay for my wonderful church family. I love y'all! Then we were all getting ready to leave. My dad looked at me nearly in tears and said that he was really proud of me and he promised he'd take care of my mom, so I said, "You better." It didn't really hit me until I was huggin my mom goodbye that I won't see them again for quite a while because they'll be about 500 miles away in North Carolina. My mom started crying and I told her not to worry and she said, "I know. You have a lot of good friends and a lot of people here that care about you." So we said our goodbyes and they were on their way. It's still going to be weird on those rare occasions that I may want to see them and I can't, but I'll be fine.

So a lot of you have been asking about the seminary situation. I can tell you that it's up in the air. I still haven't completely finished the application process. Plus...due to recent events there's a chance that I may not go even if I am accepted. A lot of people have been telling me that maybe I should stay here. I've considered it...but at least two people for sure have told me to look into Cincinnati Bible School and several others have said that I shouldn't leave. Beef said tonight that quite often when you here the same thing from several different people it's the Holy Spirit talking. So I don't know...we'll see. Wherever God wants me, that's where I'll go. I'd appreciate it if y'all would keep that in your prayers.

BTW, my birthday isn't till March 26th...we still have a while. I apologize to those of you who didn't get to enjoy my cupcakes. I'll make some for ya sometime...except for maybe Josy. Let's face it...I don't think they'd make the trip. I'm so sorry...but I can send you the recipe for some of them. Ok, well I'm gonna get off of here and look into CBS and read some more of Prince Caspian and such. I got a busy week ahead of me, but nothing I won't survive. Peace out!

God bless!

Pepto

Can't sleep...too excited

2006-01-28T21:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, so today was a pretty awesome day. I got up and cleaned my room while watching The Little Mermaid...classic movie. Then I spent just a little time trying to teach Blue Jacket how to play guitar because she's been asking me to for a while. She's a pretty good student...her biggest problem so far is learning how to strum which is just one of those things that you have to practice to get it. That was fun. Then I made some cupcakes. I am so sick of eating cupcakes...for real, but everyone seemed to like them, so that's cool. I have to take some to work sometime because everyone told me I had to when I got my Cupcake cookbook.

Anyway...I kinda got in a bit of a time crunch and had to rush to get all of my stuff together to get to the worship retreat wich was GREAT by the way. I love talking about our philosophies and why we do what we do. It was also really cool to hear the reasons why we're going to two services and what each service will be like. I've decided I want to go to the heritage service sometime just to see Elvis in a suit. Nah...really I probably will go from time to time. Believe it or not, I enjoy a lot of the old hymns. We went over a lot of music theory stuff. Most of it was over my head, but some of it I actually understood and it helped me understand what some of those crazy chords on my charts are. I understood enough to want to learn more. So I REALLY want to work on learning that stuff, but it will be hard to find the time in my schedule. I'm gonna try really hard though. I'm tired of not knowing what I'm doing half the time. Rehearsal rocked. I am so pumped up about tomorrow's service. Add in the fact that both of my parents and my grandma are going to be there...I'm even more excited. I'm a little worried about how grandma will handle it because she's definitely a traditionalist and so is my dad...but oh well. I know I'll be worshipping God and that's all that really matters.

After rehearsal I went to dinner with mom, dad, and grandma at Red Robin...mmmmmm Whiskey River BBQ Chicken....yummmm. It was good. Plus my parents gave me an early birthday present...two tickets to see Michael Buble in Cincinnati!!! I was suprised...I didn't even know he was going to be there. So that's exciting. The show is Friday March 10th. After dinner, we came back here so my dad and grandma could see some of my artwork because they hadn't seen any of it. BTW, I will try to get some pictures of them on here sometime...whenever I figure out how to put pictures on this thing.

So yeah, I've just been sittin at my computer listening to songs, downloading songs, building playlists for my MP3 player and whatnot. I think I'm going to hop into bed soon and start reading Prince Caspian, the 4th book in the Chronicles of Narnia series. Woohoo!

I will see most of you in the morning!!

God bless!

Pepto

Late night Caffeine buzz

2006-01-25T21:41:00.000-08:00

Yeah...so It's almost one and I'm still WIDE awake...I must give thanks to HBM and Elvis for providing me with enough caffiene to finish my school work and then some. I just finished the last thing I needed to do for tomorrow. (WOOHOO) A friend of mine told me when I first went into art to NEVER take 3 studio classes at once. I completley understand why she said it now. This week has just been crazy. I feel like I've been spending most of the week catching up but I was never really behind. Yesterday wasn't too bad because I was a bit of a bum in the morning and then I just relaxed and watched American Idol tonight, but I did that knowing that I was only making today a little more hectic than it really needed to be. That's ok though. I survived and I got everything done. So in addition to having a bunch of stuff to turn in for classes this week, I also worked about 23 hours which is 9 more than usual. 23 hours of work plus 27 hours in class plus at least 12 hours outside of class for homework equals 62 hours. That's quite a bit, but I'm stoked that I've survived it. Yay for staying focused!! Just pray that I can stay that way for the next 7 weeks.

Anyway...among all my working and doing stuff for school today, I went to CAYAC which rocked, as usual. I really wish other people would come, but it is still nice getting the personal attention. We talked about not having a significant other and why it shouldn't make you feel incomplete...only God can complete you...God's timing is different from ours...I Corinthians 7:32-35...etc. It was good. It hasn't really been too much of a struggle for me this week because I've been so busy which has helped me realize that I just don't have time to date someone right now, and i'm perfectly fine with that. After we finished our study, we just hung out and watched American Idol together. I love hanging out with them so much they're like the older brother/sister that I've always wanted. Anyway...they gave me Mountain Dew which is why I'm still awake, but that's ok because I had to go to campus to print my zinc plate then I got a 99 cent Junior Bacon Cheeseburger from Wendy's which is how it should be. No more of this 1.29 crap. Then I drew my drawing for my next zinc plate in printmaking. It's a drawing of Aslan...like the close up of his face on all the posters. If I do it right, I think it will be really cool.

Random thought that I wanted to share with y'all when I thought it this morning. I really hate it when the toilet seat is cold, don't you? It's just so unpleasant. Speaking of bathrooms...Funny Fingers talked about how she keeps a Bible in the bathroom because that's one place she knows she has to go during the day and sometimes it's hard to find the time to read it otherwise because she's so busy. I found myself sitting in the bathroom the other day wishing I had something to read, so I put one of my Bibles in there this evening. We'll see if it works.

Ok, well I'm gonna go snuggle under my blankies and try reading a bit until I'm tired enough to sleep. I got another long day tomorrow...longer than usual because I have to work during what would normally be my dinner time between class and Real Life. Then I have to be at work at 9 am Friday...BLAH! Anyway, I hope y'all are doing well. Peace out.

God bless!

Pepto

Craziness

2006-01-24T18:31:00.000-08:00

Yeah, life has been crazy lately. So as most of you realized, my parents were not at church on Sunday. My dad called that morning and said that they had been up most of the night talking and they didn't feel comfortable driving. That's ok though. I had a chance to talk to my dad on the phone yesterday during one my breaks and it was quite a conversation. I honestly believe that he is a changed man. He's taking the blame for all the problems that there have been between him and my mom all these years. He told me that he understood why I said the things I said when I talked to him in December and that I should smack him for reacting the way he did. He said that he really wants to go to church...he even yelled at my mom for cussing. He has NEVER done any of those things or anything like it. I had to get off the phone though because I had to work, so they called later and asked if I had time to go out to dinner with them, so they drove up here from Cincinnati just to have dinner with me and we ended up talking for almost 2 1/2 hours. They've decided that they're moving to North Carolina like Sunday afternoon or Monday morning. They were going to leave this week but I asked if they would wait so they could come to church next week and they said yes. They're also going to bring my grandma (my dad's mom). So that will be really cool. By the way, if anyone needs a couch, or has a place to store a queen size bed, please let me know. The couch would be all yours and it would be free. The bed...I will probably take it whenever I move out of here, but I don't have anywhere to put it right now. So yeah...God's been doing some pretty amazing stuff in my family. It's still pretty hard to believe and I'm still even just a little skeptical about it, but I have faith that this time is different.

Aside from that life has been crazy still. I have had so much work to do it's rediculous...I haven't even procrastinated. I've been staying on top of things, but it's crunch time this week. Week 3 of the quarter is always tough because I inevitably have a bunch of stuff due at the same time. Which is what's been happening. I said before that I spent a whole bunch of time at the CAC over the weekend. I've been doing some stuff at home too. Yeah, it's just crazy. I'm looking forward to this weekend, but it will be a pretty busy one. Yeah, my mind is wandering off...I think it's because of this crazy chick named Rhonetta on American Idol. Funny stuff. I love it when people have such fat egos on this show. She's going to "set a city on fire." Wow...interesting. Yeah, so I'm gonna get off here and finish watching AI. I hope all is well with everyone. I love ya ladies!!

God bless!

Pepto

WARNING

2006-01-21T19:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it's time I finally tell you what's happened with my dad...and my mom. To put it bluntly...they're getting back together. I thought it would be a good idea for me to tell y'all since they'll be at church together tomorrow. I know you may think that I should be happy and you're wondering why I didn't just tell you when it happened, but it's kinda hard for me to believe. After everything that has happened...some of you know the specifics, some of you don't, it's just hard to deal with such a sudden turn of events. I'm really skeptical about the whole thing. It just seems really hard to just look past everything that was done and said between them over the last three months. BUT...they swear that it will be different time. I believe them to an extent. They say they're getting out of Portsmouth which I have thought for a long time was what they needed to do. They want to renew their vows and they want to do it at Bethany. So there you go. Now you know. So when you see them there tomorrow, together, try not to freak out too much. It'll be hard enough for me to not freak out myself.

So anyway, in other news...I've been really busy doing stuff for school even thought it's a weekend. I've spent just as much time at the CAC over the weekend as I do during the week. It kinda stinks, but at least I'm staying on top of my work. I still have to spend even more time there tomorrow and I have some stuff that I need to accomplish that I can work on at home or at Women's group. I'm definitely looking forward to it and it will be much needed tomorrow night. Besides, I'm sure you're all going to wonder what the heck is going on with my parents and such.

OK, well I'm gonna chill out and relax for a bit while watching a movie. I hope you all have a wonderful night and I will see y'all in the morning.

God bless!

Pepto

My testimony

2006-01-20T18:50:00.000-08:00

Ok, here it is. It will probably be a pretty condensed version.

I was not raised going to church. In fact, my family couldn't even be classified as "cheasters" (people who only go to church for Christmas and Easter). I went to church with my grandma once every couple of years, but that was about it. When I was 10, my best friend Katie told me about Jesus one day on the swings at recess. She told me that if I would die without him in my heart that I wouldn't have anything but if I accepted him, I would have everything. So I did...and that was it. I didn't start going to church or reading the Bible or anything. I went to events at Katie's church from time to time but that was the extent of it. I always thought I was living the Christian life...I never drank or did drugs or had sex or any of that stuff. That's what I thought the Christian life was, but it took me a long time to figure out that that was wrong. I never regularly went to church until the end of my junior year in high school. I had fallen in love with a guy named Matt who had been raised in the church. That was part of the appeal of dating him...I figured since he was a "good Christian guy" that I wouldn't have to worry about him pressuring me for sex or anything...I was wrong. Things got out of hand one night and once we had realized that what we were doing was wrong, I asked him if I could start going to church with him. So I did. I got involved with the youth group and stuff...but I was always known as "Matt's girlfriend" and nothing more. So after Matt and I broke up, I kept going to church for a while but when I realized that I was only half of a couple in everyone's eyes, I stopped going.
The story doesn't really pick up again until I get to college. My freshman year I got just a little wild, but nothing too outrageous. My friend Katie that I mentioned earlier kept telling me I should to to Campus Crusade at WSU, but I never wanted to because I didn't know anyone. So I met her friend Mary that was from Beavercreek who introduced me to her friend Danielle that goes to Crusade at WSU. So I went one day. I met her and her friend Stacy. I started going to Crusade regularly during Winter Quarter of my freshman year. I was still not really walking the Christian walk, but I was going to Crusade, then I decided to go on Spring Break with Crusade to Florida. I shared a room with Danielle, Stacy, and our other friend Drea. Well...I got to know Stacy a bit better and ended up joining the Bible Study that she and Danielle were in. Then drama ensued. Stacy and I shared our concerns for the other too and we gradually got closer as friends. The following year I finally started going to church at Apex and I got super involved in Crusade. I became a Bible study leader, I was on the Media team, I went to Real Life every week, I went to every meeting, every social, etc. etc. I did a lot of growing throughout this time but I eventually got burned out on all the Crusade stuff. On the plus side, my heavy involvement helped me develop some really strong friendships, and Stacy, our friend Anna, and I decided to live together. We couldn't move into our house until the end of summer so in the meantime I needed a place to live. Stacy's parents let me stay with them for the summer which meant the world to me and it still does. Over the summer I dropped in one day during VBS at Bethany. I really enjoyed it, so I decided to go to the Sunday service. Then I kept going and then I decided to join. About that time, we all moved into our house. Put those two things together, and you can bet there was a lot of growing and changing going on. I got very involved at the church and have been ever since. Through the church I gained a family here which has been so wonderful and is so important to me. On top of that, living in this house has been a great learning experiences. It has its ups and downs just like any living relationship, but it has really helped me mature learn how to live on my own.

So anyway...that's a lot of details all to say this. I've seen a lot in my life. I watched my bother get beat by her ex-boyfriend, my dad got sent to prison, fights between my parents which led to one of them leaving, sexual abuse, and so on and so on. One thing I have realized in the last year or so is that God brought me through all that and He did it to glorify himself. So many people tell me that they don't understand how I made it through all that. I didn't make it through all of that, God brought me through it. Every difficult time I've had has been a time of growing, molding, and shaping. I've gotten to a point that I know that when those hard times roll in. Some times the hard times are still just too hard to be joyful about but other times I know that I will come out stronger in the end. So that's my story up till now. There's a lot more that will be added as I go, and I'm looking forward to seeing what God will do with me in the years to come.

God bless!

Pepto

Tune in tomorrow.

2006-01-19T21:16:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I promise that I will post my testimony on here, just not tonight. It's been a long day, it's late, and I'm tired. I appreciate y'all praying for the situation with my dad...keep praying but keep it general. I know that doesn't make sense. There's just a lot more going on with the whole thing that I'm not going to get into on here. If you ask me in person, I might tell you, but right now, I really need to go spend some time with God. He's the only person I feel like I can talk to right now and I think that's because He's the only person I should talk to right now. It's been a while since we've really talked. So yeah...I'll "talk" to you all tomorrow.

God bless.

Pepto

WEIRD day

2006-01-18T19:01:00.000-08:00

Today has definitely been one of the weirdest days of my life. It started with my running late for class which I almost never do, but when I got to the Creative Arts Center where all of my classes are, there were a bunch of people standing around outside which is rediculous considering how cold it was today. Anyway, I went to head into the building and a cop stopped me and said "the building is closed until further notice." I figured it wouldn't take long so I went to the library to wait...well about half an hour later they closed off the parking lots so I couldn't even walk to my car if I wanted to leave. So we all waited in the library for about 2 hours before they finally reopened the building. By then my class would have been over, so I just left, but on my way through the building I saw a cop so I asked him what happened and he just said that they had to call the bomb squad to come clear the building. So an interesting start to the day to say the least.

After that fiasco, I went home to have lunch and stuff. While I was here I decided to call my dad, but he didn't answer so I left a message. I called him because he had called me the day before and left a message saying that he needed to talk to me about some important stuff and he said something about his death benefits and that my brothers were both signing a waiver to give the money to me. That was not good to hear. Anyway, I finally got to talk to him this afternoon and he told me that his liver is failing and that he needs to have a liver transplant but that it's quite unlikely that they wouldn't be able to do it because he has Krohn's disease. This is not good news. He told me that he doesn't think he's going to survive much longer which is why he's trying to take care of all this stuff with his death benefits through the VA. So needless to say, I lost it. I broke down. Even if it doesn't happen anytime soon, hearing all of this just makes you think...it makes you emotional. In fact I've been so emotional that I don't even know what emotion to show. I've been laughing a lot for the last several hours which is a good thing but at the same time I'm starting to think I've really lost it this time.

Once I regained my composure I went to work. It was normal for the most part until the end of my shift. Some guy came in and said hello and asked me how I was doing and I said I was great with a very sarcastic tone. So I answered his question and he went to grab something but on his way out, he came over behind the front desk and gave me a hug. I've never met this guy in my life, but maybe he just sensed that I needed it or something. It was pretty random and it definitely made my boss laugh. So after that I went to HBM and Elvis's place for CAYAC. It went really well. I just talked about my day and stuff for a while and then we got into our study. We ended up getting into public confession...when it's needed, when it's not...the importance of accountability, why we need confession, etc. etc. It was really good. I was the only one there again which doesn't bother me but we all wish other people would come. We spent some time trying to figure out some good ways to get people to come.

So yeah, that was my really weird day. Please be praying for my dad and all of our family. There's more to the story, but I won't go into all of it. I need to get some sleep so I'll probably be going to bed soon.

God bless.

Pepto

Yay for 3 day weekends!!

2006-01-16T13:50:00.000-08:00

I love long weekends. I really wish we could have more than just one every quarter. I had a pretty good weekend. Friday I went to a blugrass gospel music festival at TV Dinner's old church with TV Dinner and Piano Man then we went to the cheap theater to see Hers, Mine and Ours. I liked it, it was a cute movie. Saturday I slept in but when I finally got up I cleaned my room and then went out to buy some art supplies. After I was done shopping, I went to the Dayton Art Institute for a while to get a better look at some of the contemporary art pieces then I went and got Writer and we went to Old Navy so she could exchange some PJs. Yeah...I should have gone...they had a big sale and I ended up buying 3 pairs of pants...but the good news is that it was less than 30 dollars for two pairs of dress paints and a pair of jeans. That deal was just too hard to pass up. Anyway, after that we had dinner at Steak and Shake then I went to PT practice. It was pretty good...and it was pretty long. After that I went to Writer's apartment and we watched Diary of a Mad Black Woman because I just decided to buy it. Probably shouldn't have, but oh well. Then I came home, talked to Internet Boy for a little bit (because he messaged me) and went to bed. The service Sunday was really good...we kinda butchered a couple songs because I just think it was a lot of new songs for one week, but it's ok. Lifesong was great...I love that song...even after playing the chorus 10 times over in rehearsal. At least we knew it well. After the service we had a meeting which was...a meeting, then I came home to grab some stuff and headed for Jeffersonville to have lunch with my mom and some of my aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was good. We're trying to do it every month, but I just don't think it's going to work out very well because 15 people is a lot to try to seat together at a restaurant. Anyway...after that I went to the Cincinnati area with my mom. We stopped at the Eastgate mall to go to Steve and Barry's...great store. I got a Wright State jacket and a sweatshirt and a t-shirt...really nice stuff and everything in the store is 7.98 or less. After that we went to her apartment which is really nice but it's just kinda bare because she doesn't have much furniture yet. Then we went to a comedy club with my cousin Navy. It was a fun night, and I'm sure I'm starting to bore you with all the deatails.

So now I'm back home and I'm about to go get a canvas and some hangers. I have quite a bit to do this evening, but I'm not going to stress out about it too much. I'm gonna have a bit more work to do this week because I'll finally be able to get into the dark room for photography but it's not nearly as bad as Roomiestar's 31 hours of work. Keep her in your prayers, that will be rough. So yeah, I hope you all had a great holiday weekend and that you have a great week. I love y'all!! Peace out.

God bless!

Pepto

Another late night

2006-01-11T21:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I really need to start going to bed earlier, but tonight I'm just not very tired. Anyway...some ol' same ol' going on in my life. I'm still all caught up in school and I'm actually starting to work a little bit ahead which is a big deal for me. I still haven't even started taking pictures for my photo class yet, but I will be very soon...as soon as I figure out what the heck I'm going to do for my portfolio. Printmaking is going well...it's not nearly as much of a pain as it was when I tried to take it over summer. Painting is going well too...we're almost done with our first in class painting and I'm not way behind this time. I also got positive feedback on my first homework - a painting of the sun rising from the POV of our front yard before they built the condos. Art history is boring...I'm reading ahead but so far the reading hasn't really pertained to anything we've done in class. Work is fine, I'm still really happy to have that job.

As far as the internet boy...yeah nothing really to report there. He messaged me a few days ago and we've talked a few times, but it's usually me that initiates the conversation and we don't really talk about anything significant. There's still possiblities, but I wouldn't count on it.

On the other hand...I went to the first CAYAC small group tonight. I was the only one there, but it was still really good. I hope we can get more people to come and I'm looking forward to seeing it grow. Since I was the only person there I got a lot of personal attention. HBM and Elvis went all "Dr. Phil" on me about why I can't get a date. To make a long story short, I've removed my true love waits ring from my left ring finger and ripped up my list of standards that I want in a guy. I love those two to death. They've been such a blessing in my life as well as many others. I really look up to them a lot. I'm sure I've said that before but there's no harm in saying it again.

So yeah...I've just been hanging out here doing a whole lot of nothing productive. I'm going to try to go to bed soon since I'll be getting up early to get a shower and such. I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday and the rest of the weekend if I don't post before then.

God bless!

Pepto

Late night

2006-01-08T22:18:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so I definitely didn't get home from women's group until about 1 am. That's the latest I've ever stayed, but I did get my Art History reading done which was my goal for the evening and I also learned a lot more about some people...quite a bit that I didn't necessarily want to know, but that's ok.

So yeah...all in all, I had a good weekend. Friday I went to dinner at Fox and Hound with Writer and then we went to the movies to see The Producers. It's an odd one, but it was pretty funny, then we went to her apartment and watched a movie. It was great to hang out with her again. We were roommates our sophomore year and we always got along well. It's cool to stay friends with roommates after you move out. She's really the only one that has stuck so far, but I'm sure I'll stay friends with my current roomies after we all leave. Anyway...Saturday I went to Springfield to get some art supplies then I came back to the house and watched Diary of a Mad Black Woman with Homeslice and one of her friends. Roomiestar joined us for a bit but then she took a nap. It was a GREAT movie. I highly recommend it. After that I think I just fell asleep for a while and then headed to Praise Team practice. It was much better this week. The last couple of weeks had been kinda frustrating for me because Christmas week...those songs just seemed impossible to play and then last week we had practice on New Year's Eve which kinda stunk, but oh well. Anyway, it was good, then I was chattin with HBM for a while afterwards about stuff...and I ended up going to Applebee's with her and Elvis. It was good, we talked about the church and the college age small group that's starting this week and internet boy and school, etc. etc. Then I came home and talked to Blue Jacket for a while. It's really been great spending time with so many different people and talking to them. I hope it continues.

Anyway, the service today was pretty good. I thought the worship was good even though I couldn't hear out of my left ear for a little while. I had some clog thing going on, and it was pretty disorienting since your hearing is what helps with your balance. So if I seemed kinda grouchy this morning, that's why. After church, I went to Cracker Barrel with Homeslice which was good...good food and we got to talk. Then I went to campus to stretch a canvas then I came home and took a nap then I got up and went to the Crucible with Blue Jacket which was really good...I'm excited about some of the stuff we'll be talking about in the coming weeks. Then I brought Blue Jacket home and went to Women's group. I just want to say that I love those ladies...y'all know who you are. It's great to spend time with you and just listen to you talk and get to know you better. So yeah...now I'm home I didn't really talk to the internet boy...I said hello and then he said he was going to bed so we exchanged goodnights and he signed off. I'll still keep you posted on what's going on there.

Ok, yeah, so I'm gonna do some reading, maybe a little personal journaling and then I'm going to sleep. I have an 8:30 class (bleh), so I need to get some rest. I'm keeping y'all in my prayers.

God bless!

Pepto

Life is good

2006-01-05T22:53:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so a lot has happened in the last few days, and I thought it was high time I let you all in on the fun. First of all, there's the obvious...Winter quarter started this week. It's definitely going to be a really tough quarter...a seemingly impossible quarter, but something I've discovered about myself is that when I have a task in front of me that seems insurmountable, that's when I usually get really determined and get the job done and get it done right. So I'm confident that I'll do well this quarter. I've actually felt inspired in the last couple of days, but I'll get back to that later.

I've been spending a lot of time with people that I haven't spent time with in a while. I've been hanging out with Homeslice and Blue Jacket a lot at the house in the evenings. It's been fun, we've done a lot of laughing and acting stupid. I had lunch with TV Dinner today, and I got to talk to my old roommate who I shall call Writer this evening and we're probably going to go do something tomorrow night. I still miss spending so much time with Roomiestar, but I know she needs to spend time with her PC. I'm sure we'll find sometime to hang out eventually, but it will be hard because we're both REALLY busy. So yeah...revisiting old frienships rocks.

Now to the meat and potatoes of this entry. In my last update I told you all about the Curly situation...well I can tell you that he still has yet to call and I had decided to give him until Friday which is tomorrow, but it's pretty much a done deal already. To be honest, it is not bothering me one bit, and I will tell you why. Tuesday evening I was sitting in the living room with Homeslice and Blue Jacket while I was on my laptop. I randomly decided to get on a Christian dating site called www.christianmingle.com. It was kinda just for kicks and giggles, but after I filled out my profile and what not, I got this IM through the website from this guy from West Chester, OH. I had already viewed his profile and selected him as a favorite. Well, the IM thing on the website wasn't working on my computer, so I IMed him on AIM because he gave his screen name on his profile. We ended up talking for about an hour about school, graduating, and also about Wild at Heart and Captivating. He said that he has read Wild at Heart a couple of times and wanted to read Captivating. I told him that I had read Captivating a couple of times and wanted to read Wild at Heart. So we talked about that for a little while, and that was good. Let me point out that he still had not seen my picture or anything at this point, so he wanted to talk to me just based on what I had said in my profile. Anyway...his AIM profile had a link to his blog in it, so I started reading it and just kept on reading...I went all the way back to July. This guy is amazing. He went to Ukraine over the summer to work with orphans and such, he went to Louisiana for Hurricane Relief, he drove over 2 hours to give roses and coffee to his now ex-girlfriend, and he tries very hard to keep his focus on God.

So yeah...I talked to him briefly earlier today and then I talked to him again tonight. I love talking to him, there are a few awkward 'silences' but for the most part we just chat. So that's what's been going on. I don't know if anything will come of this. I hope so. I would really like to meet this guy, but if nothing happens, at least it got my mind off the whole Curly situation. I still don't know what happened there.

Well, I should finally get to bed. It's almost 2 am.

God bless!

Pepto

Happy New Year ladies!

2006-01-01T21:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I figured since everyone else has updated in the last couple days, maybe I should too. I haven't updated for a few days because I haven't had much positive to share. As some of you may have read in Mac and Cheese's journal, I went out to dinner with Roomiestar, PC, and Bowler. Which was really good because things had been kinda rough that week, so I was really glad to be able to hang out with Roomiestar and PC again. As far as Bowler whom I shall now call Curly from now on...it was just awkward. I had been realizing over the last week or so that I have really developed an interest in him. Why? I'm not totally sure because he seems all wrong for me in a lot of ways, but at the same time, there's just something about him. Well, anyway...I was nervous being around him so I was really quiet and reserved and not quite myself. After dinner we all went to Old Navy then to Barnes and Noble, then Curly had to go home and go to bed because he had to work early in the morning. So Roomiestar, PC, and I came back to the house and played Scrabble. Before we started playing, I was talking to PC about some stuff and he eventually got it out of me that I haven't been able to stop thinking about Curly. Well...he soon told me that Curly was going to stop by the house the previous day and ask me out to lunch, but couldn't because he was on his motorcycle (yes, he has one) and it had started raining. So I was on cloud 9 for a while. I joked around about going to see him at work the next day on base even though I have no reason to go through the gate he was working. So PC came up with the idea that "I" would take him lunch...meaning I would pay for it and hand it to him but all of us would be going out there. So we did just that. On the way I was getting really nervous and PC just told me to be myself, relax, and tell him to call me. So I didn't do any of that. Then as we were driving away, PC told me that I failed, because he had talked to Curly and Curly had said that if I asked him to call me that he would do so. SO, I decided to go back. Which I did, and PC suggested that I write my number down and hand it to him so I would be officially giving him my number. At this point, he had made it out to be a sure thing, so I was really excited and feeling a lot bolder than usual. So I did it. The conversation was really awkward and I felt like an idiot the split second I drove away.

Now...this is where I would like to say that I went home and he called a couple hours later and we hung out. Unfortunately, I can't say that because he still hasn't called. So yeah...that was REALLY disappointing. I talked to PC today, however, and PC said that Curly has been sick all weekend and simultaneously busy with work. Still not enough reason for me to call him, but I'm still giving him a chance to call me. If he doesn't, then oh well. I'll get on with my life. If he does, then who knows. One thing is for sure...IF anything were to ever happen between us, he's going to have to do a little fightin for my heart. So yeah...that's what's been going on. My New Year's really was pretty crappy, but life goes on. My New Year's Day was pretty decent though. Once I got past the depression resulting from the rejection, I ended up having a lot of fun with Roomiestar, PC, Banana, Scuba, Ruby Tuesday, and Burrito Man (I may think of better names for them later). We played games and just hung out for a while then we went to Fox and Hound for dinner (service wasn't so great, but the food was delicious) then we came back here and had some ice cream and played never have I ever.

So yeah...if anything happens with the Curly situation, I'll let you know, but don't hold your breath on it. It's gettin late, so I'll probably be hitting the hay soon. I hope you all have a wonderful year in 2006!

God bless!

Pepto

This will be short..just like me

2005-12-28T20:49:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I really don't have a whole lot to say. I'm mainly posting just to say that I think it's kinda weird that everyone wants to look at my hands and feet now. I hope they don't disappoint you. I've been looking for my nail clippers to make sure they're groomed accordingly, but I can't find them. It never fails...when I need them the most, I can't remember where I put them last.

My day today...was another day. I left work early because I was completely exhausted and wasn't really feeling well. I haven't slept well for about the last week. I'm fairly certain I know why, but I won't go into that here. Maybe some other time. So I came home and spent the whole morning/afternoon on the couch watching Bridezilla. That's an interesting show. Anyway, later on I talked to Mac and Cheese...she's great. I can't say that enough. She's always such an encouragement to talk to. Then I went to the mall with TV Dinner...she's great too. I told her today that I don't think I value her friendship enough because she is ALWAYS there when I need her. Anyway, I got another one of those fake two shirt looking sweaters, then we went to Family Christian and I got the Jeremy Camp Live Unplugged CD which is AWESOME. I love his music and acoustic driven music, so it's the best of both worlds. I came home, talked to Mama D for a while...she's great too. She really has become like another mom to me. Then I watched the Jeremy Camp DVD, and now I'm going to bed. So that's it. I'm tired, and I definitely need some sleep. My hands and feet need the beauty rest. I'll be seeing y'all. Love ya!

God bless!

Pepto

Boredom

2005-12-27T10:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm stuck at work without anything to do until my boss gets back. She was expecting to be back nearly an hour ago but has yet to arrive, so I thought I would journal to pass the time.

So I have come to realize that I really am emotionally unstable. It's getting to an unhealthy level so I think I might try to make an appointment with a Psychiatrist or something. I won't go into detail on what all made me realize, just know that I've been a walking mood swing over the last couple days. Yes, there are plenty of reasons why I could be so moody: the holidays, stress of hosting dinner, PMS among other things, but I think it's just getting out of hand. Yes, there is a whole lot that is being left unsaid, but for good reason. There's just no need to get everyone involved in the situation.

On the brighter side, I get to hang out with my old friend Spicy Chicken this evening. We're going out for dinner and a movie, so that will be fun. I haven't been able to just hang out with her in about 4 months or so. We used to almost be like twins...we looked quite a bit alike, we had the same kind of personality, we were both single, etc. etc. Then she started dating someone and got engaged and it all changed. That's ok though, friendships change...I need to keep that in mind whever I start thinking a friendship is going to end. True friendships never end, they just evolve.

I am so stinking bored right now. If she's not back very soon, I'm gonna leave anyway. At least I'm getting paid to be here. I have really nice hands and feet. I've gotten compliments on my feet before but I was just looking at my hands and noticed how nice they are too. I got a sweater for Christmas...it's one of those deals that looks like a sweater with a button-up shirt underneath it, but it's just one shirt...I really like that style. I think I'll try to find some more like this. Why does fruitcake still exist? I don't know anyone that likes it. You know what's funny...the fruitcake lady on Jay Leno...she's hilarious. If you ever get to watch her, please do. I thought about going to the gym today...yeah right. Who am I kidding? I really do want to try to get into a routine when the quarter starts, but it's going to be hard because I'll be really really busy. I've decided that I like playing board games. We've been playing them more recently at the house, and I enjoy them. I never really got to play them much when I was a kid because I was pretty much an only child and my parents would never play with me. Except Trivial Pursuit...I actually won quite often which is good for someone so young.

Ok, well it's 2 o'clock, so I'm gonna punch my timecard and go home. I hope you all enjoyed my random ramblings, and I'll be seeing ya.

God bless!

Pepto

The Christmas Aftermath

2005-12-26T12:35:00.000-08:00

That sounds so negative doesn't it? Well, it was quite a Christmas for me this year. The day before Christmas Eve and early in the day Christmas Eve were pretty rough. I spend 5 hours or more cleaning the house and preparing for Christmas day. I had been really looking forward to having everyone over for Christmas, but it's not something I'll be doing again soon. Anyway...a lot of stuff was just weighing down on me with it being the first Christmas since my parents split, and I was really just wishing that I had a nice guy to throw his arms around me, tell me he loves me and that everything is going to be ok. Unfortunately, my emotions were misdiricted toward Roomiestar, and I still feel bad about it, but it'll get worse later. So anyway, after letting out a good cry, I got in the car and headed to Circleville to my aunt's house to spend time with my Mom's family. It was a lot of fun. Good food, as always. I actually got to talk to my cousin who I will call Navy (because she was in the Navy for a while) which was cool, because I haven't really had a chance to talk to her in about 8 or 9 years. Then we played games which was a first for our family, but it ended up being a lot of fun. The first one, we tossed Christmas cards into a basket to see who could get the most...I didn't. Then we all sat in a circle and every other person got a gift. Then my Aunt told a story about the "Wright family." The rule was that everytime she said, "right" you had to pass the gifts to the right and everytime she said, "left" you had to pass them to the left. It was pretty fun, I ended up not getting one at the end of the game but the she made sure everyone got something, and I ended up with a Longaberger basket. Then we opened presents and I actually got some: a pretty red sweater that I wore on Christmas day and a cookie plate. I was suprised because we used to have a rule that everyone that had graduated from high school either didn't get a gift or we'd do a Secret Santa kind of deal. So that was cool. Then I went to Columubus to my brother's mother-in-law's house so I could see my brother and his wife and my nephew and my dad. I didn't stay there incredibly long, but it was great getting to see my baby nephew. He's getting big...he's up and walking now. So then I came home and went to bed.

I woke up Christmas morning feeling great simply because it was Christmas morning. Then I went to rehearsal then we had the service which went better than I thought it would. After the service Roomiestar and PC wanted me to go get Chinese with them and Bowler and I didn't want to because I had so much to do at the house before dinner, but they convinced me. So then we all went on a wild goose chase to find something open and ended up just coming back to the house and ordering pizza. This is where the real fun starts. The day felt like a disaster to me because I was so focused on being a good hostess that I ended up totally screwing up. I had to leave as soon as we got there to go take care of some cats. Then I had to leave again to try and find sour cream because I completely forgot it. In the meantime the gang back here kept calling everywhere to see if they were open and if they had sour cream. No luck, until Roomiestar's parents remembered that they had some at their place so her dad went back and got it. So yeah...on top of that I was just plain being a pill. I mean I was a pain in the butt, and in hindsight I feel terrible about it. I don't know if it's PMS or just the same thing I that was wrong with me on Christmas Eve, but I got over it for long enough to at least enjoy Christmas. Bowler was there, as I said and he did stay the whole day which made me glad because I really didn't want the poor guy to be alone on Christmas day. We played Life and Clue and had a lot of fun. PC won both games because he cheats...j/k. Anyway, we had dinner and everyone complimented my cooking which was cool. Then we opened presents. Now...the last couple months I had been expecting to get very little if I got anything at all. Yeah...I was wrong. I got a necklace (which I put on immediately and a book (which I already read this morning) from Roomiestar, Bruce Almighty DVD and a wallet with some cash in it from Roomiestar's parents, and like 4 sweaters, a pair of jeans, bras, underwear, socks, a teddy bear with a Clay High School sweatshirt on it, a Narnia book, a Michael Buble CD, and this is the kicker...Adobe Photoshop from my mom. I about killed her. I was very thankful for it, but I knew she couldn't afford it, so I don't know where the money came from, but she got it somehow. So I'm probably going to spend a good part of the rest of today learning how to use it. So then the parents left and Roomiestar, PC, Bowler, and I went to the movies. Bowler paid for all of us, I guess that was his Christmas present to us. We went to see King Kong...yeah...I really wish I had known ahead of time that that movie was 3 hours long. It was good...it was just really long. So then I came home and was just feeling like crap emotionally. So I hid in my room till Roomiestar went to bed and then I went for a drive. That's a sure sign that I have A LOT on my mind. Fortunately, I got over a lot of the crap going on in my head without saying too much that I would later regret.

Anyway...I've had plenty of time to myself today to think about stuff, and I'll have more time for the rest of the day. So sorry this got so long, but there's even more I could say. I'll talk about it sometime later though. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas. I had a few rough spots but it was still good. I'll be seeing ya!!

God bless!

Pepto

Perspective

2005-12-23T07:27:00.000-08:00

There is a song by Kutless called "Perspectives." A line in the chorus says, "Sometimes freedom is just simply another perspective away." I realize more and more as I get older just how true that is. I think our own happiness has more to do with the perspective we have on our life than what our life actually is.

Why am I talking about this? You might ask. Well...I stated in my previous journal that I don't understand why everyone seems to think I have so much control over my relationship status. Well...I do now. After a brief chat with Mac and Cheese, some more talking to PC and reading a 200 page book called, "Marriable" in one sitting (I'm dead serious. I didn't get up off the couch at all until I finished it.), I finally realized that I do give off this major "Unavailable" vibe, and it's my own fault. I've had this attitude that I shouldn't get involved in a relationship until I get to seminary or wherever it is I'm going. All along it made perfect sense to me, but in the last couple of days, it really hasn't made sense at all. If God has Mr. Right in store for me in the next eight months, who am I to prevent that from happening? Yeah, it may cause some changes in my plans for the future and it may turn into a long distance relationship for a while, but so what. How can I know if it would work if I don't even let myself get close to anyone. So, I've decided that should the opportunity arise, I will go for it. By go for it, I mean I may show signs of being interested but I'm still gonna let him chase me because that's just how men and women were designed. In short...I have a new perspective on dating now.

So here's a bit of a fun fact that I thought you ladies would like to hear about. I know it put "a little extra hitch in my giddy-up" in the words of Larry the Cable Guy. Wednesday afternoon, I took Roomiestar over to the base to see PC because I have access to get on base and she doesn't. In case y'all didn't know, he checks IDs at the gate. So we came through the gate and the airman that he was working with ended up checking my ID, but then we pulled through and stopped to at least say hi to PC and he asked us if we would go get them some food. Roomiestar said yes...even though I was the one driving, but I would have done it anyway. So we ran to Wendy's to get them some food and went to take it to them. Once again the airman stopped us and he was like, "You're coming through again?" So we responded with, "Yeah because we're bringing you food." So anyway, we pull through and give the food to PC while I successfully embarrass Roomiestar 0:) then we go out on our way. Well...I later found out from PC that soon after we drove away, the airman he was working with started asking about us. So PC told him that Roomiestar was his girlfriend and I was her best friend and what we were doing there, etc. Well, apparantly this airman kept asking about me and talking about me for the rest of their shift which was another 5 1/2 HOURS!! He even asked if PC would set us up for a double date. So when PC was telling me all this, I was like...."So....what happened?" and he said that they talked about spirituality and religion briefly and the airman said that he is more "spiritual than religous." But then PC said that he really didn't think this was the kind of guy I would want to get involved with because of some other stuff he said earlier in the day. So he was looking out for me because he knows that if I would get hurt that it would eventually come back to him.

So yeah...that was a big confidence boost. Nothing will ever come of it, but it's good to know my smile can make some stranger talk about me for almost 6 hours. After that conversation, PC also said that he is "still hopeful" that Bowler and I will get together. I thought that was interesting. But I'm not going to press the issue. I don't see anything happening right now for a lot of reasons, but you never know. But I told Roomiestar to have PC invite Bowler over for Christmas just because I wouldn't want the poor guy to spend Christmas alone. So I'll let you all know if that happens.

Well, I don't know if I'll be updating again before Christmas so I hope you all have a great one! I'll be seeing y'all soon. Enjoy the next couple of days and try to not stress out. Love ya sistahs!!God bless!!!

Pepto

Another Update

2005-12-20T10:33:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I have said it before, but I will say it again. I love my job. I'm sitting here eating popcorn and watching Christmas Vacation...at work. But don't worry...I have plenty of work to do. I'm just taking a brief break to journal. So in response to some of your comments...there really is no side to be taken on the whole situation of lunch on Sunday. As I said...I completely understand why she was upset...and if I were in her shoes, I'm sure I'd be pretty upset about it as well, but she did say that she was glad that we are getting to know each other. So it's all good. It's done and over with.

Now...about my whole feelings on wanting to find someone, etc. etc. I'm realizing that a lot of it has to do with 2 things: the crappy conversation I had with my dad and the fact that Christmas is just 5 days away. It's really starting to set in that my family is not going to be together for Christmas nor will it ever be until my family consists of my husband and kids. I don't know if any of you have ever really experienced this...but it sucks. Big time. I just want so badly to have someone to share the experience with this Christmas, but I really don't. Granted, I will get to spend Christmas with my mom as well as the Durbins which is the only family I really have now...it's different. I don't know...to expect to have someone to be with this Christmas is COMPLETELY unrealistic and irrational and it won't happen, but it's just how I feel. Maybe he'll walk into my life by next Christmas. It's hard to say.

There seems to be a general consesus among those close to me that I have more control over my relationship status than I think I do. I don't get it. It's not that I'm turning down dates or anything...nobody has even asked me out on a date...not even a relationship...in over 4 years now. Don't get me wrong...I've had a few dates, but they were all either set up or I asked. You can guess how those ended up. So I don't see where I have any control over the situation, but if you all can...please enlighten me.

I know this post seems like a downer, but I'm doing fine...really. Yeah, I'm hurtin a bit with the whole family thing, but overall...I'm still doing well, and still praising the Lord for what I do have. Oh...and on a more positive note...I'm kinda sorta being promoted at work. I'm not getting a raise but I am getting more responsibity and quite possible some more hours. I'll be doing what's called Inventory Control. I have a desk and everything. It's not official but the Cool Boss told me that I'll probably be doing a lot of it since the person they hired this past quarter quit. So yay!!! Praise the Lord. Speaking of work...I need to get back to that. I hope you all have a wonderful day, and I'll see most of you at rehearsal tonight.

God bless!

Pepto

Roller Coaster

2005-12-19T20:05:00.000-08:00

Yeah...so the last couple days have definitely been up and down. Yesterday started off great...the service was awesome even though the last verse of the Untitled Hymn brought some tears to my eyes because it reminded me of my Grandma. Afterwards Roomiestar had to work so we headed back to the house and PC asked me and Homeslice if we would like to go somewhere for lunch, so we did. It was a lot of fun and we got to know each other a little bit more, and then it was time to face reality. I went to Portsmouth to talk to my dad. It really didn't go well, but in the end we were "ok". It's a long story and I really don't want to get into it. So I came back here to talk to Roomiestar, and PC was here as well. I was fine with that because I had vaguely told him what had been going on at lunch. So I told them all what happened and that was that. Then PC left and Roomiestar was upset about us going to lunch. Understandably so because I wouldn't be too happy in her shoes either. But I felt like a colossal jerk. Thankfully this morning she was fine, so I didn't worry about it anymore. So today I went to work for an hour then Roomiestar and I went shopping. PC called her around 3ish and told us to meet him at Golden Corral to eat.

Well...this is where the plot thickens. Everything started out just fine...but I now must go back in time a little bit. In my last entry (I think) I told y'all about the night out with Roomiestar, PC, and Bowler. Well...ever since that evening (including some interesting conversation with PC), I've been thinking about him quite a bit...probably a lot more than I should considering he was taken (or so I thought) and I don't know anything about him. So I made the mistake of repeatedly asking about him or talking about him around PC, but at the same time completley denying that I had any interest in him. Well today I said something about him again while we were at lunch. And everytime I mention him, PC walks away. So Roomiestar just basically told me that I either need to drop it and not talk about him anymore or just fess up that I have an interest...so I fessed up and she ran immediately to tell PC. That was embarrassing. So the situation was awkward, and then it got worse when PC started probing for information and asking me questions. You see...he's a very analytical guy. So everything I said only provoked more questions until I finally just blurted it out that I really do want to date someone no matter how much I seem like I don't and that I want to at least wait till I leave. I want to be pursued and I want it to happen in the very near future. I don't want to wait for another 8 months because I feel like I've been waiting long enough. I don't know...I see how happy Roomiestar is with PC...and I want that. Now. Not a year from now. Now. I'm just being honest. I'm sure that it isn't God's will for me to be with anyone, and I'm kinda getting into one of my, "I'll never find anyone" funks, but I'm sure I'll get over it. So anyway...through a few conversations I've had with PC about this stuff he keeps saying that I have more control over the situation than I think I do...but I really don't. I have no control over it whatsoever and he just doesn't seem to get that. It's not that I'm not taking opportunities, it's that I don't have any. So yeah...that's how I feel right now. Chances are I will be fine by tomorrow morning, but yeah...I could use a little prayer, and if y'all could start sending up some prayers that God will send me my Prince Charming soon, I would really appreciate it. Maybe if we start praying for it now it won't take as long. I'm still trying very hard to just be patient, but it gets hard occasionally. I'm sure you all can understand that. Ok, I'm gonna shut up...this is getting depressing, I'll try to be more upbeat in the next one.

God bless!

Pepto

P.S. I figured I should at least end it on a good note. I have to say that PC is a great guy...perfect for Roomiestar. He's going through a lot of steps to really invest in her...especially considering he's doing stuff like taking me out for lunch and inviting me along with them to places just because I am, "an important part of Roomiestar's life." So I really am very very very very happy for them and I feel like I've gained a friend in the deal. So I'm not bitter...don't worry. Peace out.

Nothing new under the moon

2005-12-17T07:20:00.000-08:00

Yeah...so nothing much has happened in the last few days really. That's why I hadn't updated my journal. I guess I'll start with Wednesday. After I got off work I went to the base and I did see PC. We chatted for a little bit...he asked me to pull over (he was in his security guard uniform) and when he walked up to the car I just said, "is there a problem officer?" So he said, "Yes ma'am, I need to inspect your vehicle." Then he said, "You know I only tease you because I like you." So...we're really getting along well and that's good for all parties involved, especially Roomiestar because having your boyfriend and best friend hate each other is a really bad situation. Anyway...that evening we ended up going bowling...me, Roomiestar, PC and PC's best friend...let's call him Bowler because we all decided that he looked like a pro bowler. Anyway...there weren't any lanes open till 9 so we decided to go grab a bite to eath at Bob Evans...and get this...PC paid for MY dinner. I was floored. I have a lot of respect for this guy and I would even consider him a friend, but most importantly, he makes Roomiestar happy which makes me happy. So after that we went bowling and Bowler paid for everyone because it was "buck night" so it wasn't that much. So I got an evening out for free which was really cool.

After that, me, Roomiestar, and PC came here and "watched" Hitch with Homeslice...it actually ended up that Roomiestar watche the movie while PC analyzed me and Homeslice and then we talked the whole time. It was some interesting conversation and it made me think about some things...which I'm still thinking about, but I won't go into that here. It would take too long. (Sidenote: I'm only giving the details on this evening because Roomiestar didn't in her journal) So that was fun.

Thursday was pretty uneventful...I worked 9-5 then came home for a bit then went to rehearsal for 3 hours. I didn't want to be there initially, but it wasn't bad. Friday Yesterday was a really good day. We had our Christmas party at work...so I did my few daily tasks that I had to do and that was pretty much it. I drove the Big Boss and I out to Olive Garden to pick up our lunch then we went back to work and all ate and chatted and exchanged gifts. I wasn't expecting much at all...but the Cool Boss gave me a $25 gift card to Kohl's. I was floored. I just about started crying because I've never gotten anything remotely like that from a supervisor. But it made me realize just how blessed I am to have that job even though I hated it about a year ago. It's gonna stink when I have to leave it. Then I got to relax at home for a few hours which was nice since I hadn't been able to do it in a while. Plus I turned the house upside down looking for the USB cord for my digital camera which I still haven't found, but I'm gonna try to clean my room and hopefully it will turn up somewhere. So HBM...I feel your pain.

Anyway...last night was the dinner theater. It went really well. TV dinner and Piano Man came and they thought it was great. Everyone I talked to said 2 things: "There's so much talent up there" and "Roomiestar's solo was so amazing." So that's good. Afterwards I ate some dinner then came back here and watched TV till Roomiestar got home and we chatted for a bit, and then something occured to me last night, and I haven't told her this yet, but this relationship she has with PC has actually strengthened our friendship somehow. I don't really understand it, but she's been talking to me more since they started dating and opening up to me and that really means a lot to me. Not only that, but she's trying really hard to include me in everything and let me get to know him as well as making time to spend with me. We're going shopping on Monday so that will be cool.

So yeah...I know I'm getting long winded, but I must ask for you all to pray for me this evening. My mom is coming to the dessert theater with her "friend." I have a feeling it will really be a test of my patience. I hope that I can hold it together and not get all cranky and ticked off. It's not that I don't like the guy because I actually knew him when I was like 4 years old, but it's just a difficult situation to be in...parents splitting up, mom practically dating someone even though she's still married by law. Yeah. In addition to that. I'm planning on going to Portsmouth tomorrow afternoon to finally talk to my dad. Yes...it's time. I wanted to do it before Christmas and this is probably the last chance I'll have. So I will DEFINITELY need your prayers tomorrow. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Ok, I'm done blabbing. Sorry it's so long. I'll see most of you this evening. Peace out.

God bless!

Pepto

Woohoo

2005-12-14T08:57:00.000-08:00

So I've gotten into the habit of updating my journal while I'm supposed to be working...shame on me. But i do get my job done and I'm probably their best worker (so they've told me). Anyway...yesterday was a pretty good day. Nothing spectacular about it except that I got to eat again for the first time. It was nice even though it wasn't all that tasty. Plus I got to meet with Mac and Cheese and that's always good. I love her to death...I am so glad I asked her to be my discipler...it was a bit of a random decision but it was definitely a good one. She can always make me smile and she's great at offering a different perspective on life when I'm down. I really look up to her. After that I went home to watch the Amazing Race season finale...by myself, but that's ok. I was a little disappointed that Roomiestar didn't make it back in time to watch it with me, but I have to be understanding...I can't hog her all to myself. But when she got back we talked a bit and it was good...except when she asked me what I would do if I didn't get accepted to seminary. That had me bummed out for a little while but then I decided I wouldn't let it keep me down. Yes, it is a possibility but through events in my life recently...I strongly believe that this is what I'm meant to do and I will continue to believe that until I get a letter that says, "i'm sorry but you can't come to school here." On that note...I've been filling out my application to Columbia online and I printed out my reference forms to give to people to have sent in. The website has a few different things listed as requirements for applications so I decided to call and clarify for sure what they needed from me. So I called and I asked the lady and she told me and then I told her that I could find the questionnaire for the essay, so she looked on the website and couldn't find it either. Then she was like. "I'm glad you called because we didn't know about that. You'll do great in graduate school." So that was REALLY encouraging. Now I'm stoked. I asked her how long it takes to hear back once everything has been submitted and she said that they try to let people know within 10 business days once everything has been received. So I'm going to try to have everything done and sent in by next Tuesday or Wedensday which means I should find out if I've been accepted by the first week of January. So if I seem on edge that week...you'll know why. It's kinda scarey. I mean I applied to college and everything but I was never nervous about that because I was super-student back in high school. Things have changed since then and my grades aren't all that glamorous. They're not that bad either. But it's still not a certaintly that I'll be accepted like it was when I applied to WSU. So I'm really excited but I'm also nervous. So if y'all could keep that in your prayers over the next few weeks, I would REALLY appreciate it.

So yeah...I'm gonna take my lunch now then I'll actually get to work, I promise. Then I'm going to the base to get gas and groceries and to tell PC he needs to come over to the house tonight to hang out with Roomiestar and me. I hope you're all having a GREAT day! Peace out ladies!!

God bless!

Pepto

Last day

2005-12-13T08:57:00.000-08:00

Yes...today is the final day of my seven day fast...and I don't even have to make it through the whole day...just till I get off work at 5, then I can eat some food for dinner. Won't be anything very appetizing, but food nonetheless. So my overall experience with fasting was really good. I still can't believe I made it...it was all God. The last time I tried fasting I made it for about 9 hours...never thought I'd survive 7 days, but the Lord can do some pretty amazing things. So one thing I've learned is that God can use me to do things that I may think I could never do...and He does it because it brings Him that much more glory. He uses those that are incapable so that it is clear that they're doing it by His power and not their own. My attitude has changed about a lot of things, and I'm still not exactly sure why. Maybe it is just that I asked God to kick satan out and He did just that. I dunno. So I would highly recommend a fast sometime. There are bonuses to it as well. For instance: I lost 12 pounds, I saved a lot of money on food, and my teeth are whiter.

Anyway...yesterday I worked till 1 then I spent the rest of the day with my mom. It was kinda rough. She broke down a couple times talking about my dad and everything that's been going on. She's really in a bind right now. She had to sell her engagement ring and a couple rings he got her for Christmas for $500 to survive on and it still isn't enough because she's behind from last month. It was unavoidable though because she spend a lot of money on gas going to and from Circleville and on food while we were there because we couldn't just cook...but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm having problems myself even though I FINALLY got my VA check. Praise the Lord. That was the one thing I needed to pay rent and utilities...everything else...God will provide somehow. As the day went on, Mom seemed to lighten up a bit. She ended up spending the night last night, which I think she kinda needed to be around her daughter, so I complied.

That's about it. I'm gonna finish out my day at work then eat a small small dinner then go meet Mac and Cheese then watch the season finale of Amazing Race. I hope you all are doing well. Peace out!!

God bless!

Pepto

I'm in charge

2005-12-12T06:05:00.000-08:00

Yeah, that's right. Neither of the bosses are here until noon today which puts me in charge of the entire staff...which today consists of me. So I'm all alone. I thought I'd update my journal before I make my run to the main library. So this weekend was a pretty good weekend. I already wrote about Friday and Saturday and yesterday was great. Why was it great for me? Because I got to see my best friend happier than she's been in a long time which makes me happy. Yes...I got to meet PC. At first I was not incredibly fond of him...but I think it was just the stress of the whole situation because when I saw him later on in the evening we got along just fine and he even told me that he thinks I'm a great person. To which I responded by saying I thought the same of him. Normally this is where I would go into my, "if you hurt her I'll kill you" speech but instead I just looked at him and said, "She's my best friend in the world. Take care of her." He responded by smiling and saying, "See...that's your real personality coming out there." He also said that he wanted to set me up with a friend of his but once he found out that I"ll probably be leaving in 8 months...he decided against it, which is fair. It wouldn't be right to try to date someone if I know I'm going to be leaving. So...YAY...I'm really happy for Roomiestar.

Now about my life...there's not a whole lot to be said. I'm still on my fast...day 6 now. WOOHOO!!! Praise the Lord. I still can't believe I've made it this far, but because I've made it this far, I know it's not on m own strength because I couldn't last more than a whole day. Anyway...I did some research last night about how to end a fast. It's a week long process. So even though I'm on a 7 day fast...it's actually a 14 day process because I have to get my system back to normal again before I start eating regularly. So it will be a lot of veggies for me this week, but that's ok. It will be nice to have solid food again, and it's important that I do it right because if I dont, it could cause some serious health problems. Finances are still a bit of a problem because I STILL have NOT gotten my VA check for the month of November and I should have gotten it 11 days ago. I tried to call again over the weekend, but they're closed. So if I don't get it today, I'm calling again. ...and if it doesn't come today, I'm really in a world of trouble. I talked to Detergent last night about going to seminary for counseling. That was pretty encouraging because she started naming off all these jobs I could get with that degree that I hadn't really thought about, so that was cool.

So yeah...last night I went to women's group for liek 3 1 /2 hours which is the longest I've ever stayed there, but it was a lot of fun. I got to sit with HBM and Scrapbook Queen until she moved then Mac and Cheese sat down with us and then...I believe we call her Minnie sat with us. I've never really talked to her before, but she's pretty funny. Then Roomiestar finally got there so she could tell us all about her whirlwind romance over the last few days (most of which I had already heard). Then we went home and she and I talked for a bit, and it was a good conversation. It's nice that we're starting to have those again instead of all the arguments. She told me that she's really seen a big change in my attitude about the whole situation which she is really glad about because it's a lot easier for her to be excited around me and not be afraid of makin me mad or anything. I honestly believe this fast has been the difference because yesterday for most of the day, I felt like I was all smiles even though times have been really rough lately. I have a new perspective on life. There was nothing specific in the last few days that caused the change, it just kinda happened, but praise the Lord nonetheless. It feels good to be able to smile again. He's been workin in me, and I'm very thankful for it. I finally have gotten a bit of a break from the attacks of satan and I am SO SO thankful for it. At the same time, though...I have to brace myself because I'm sure he'll be coming back soon.

Okie dokie...I actually need to do some work now. I love y'all!!! Peace out ladies.

God bless!

Pepto

Ditto

2005-12-10T21:42:00.000-08:00

So this evening was practically a repeat of last night...I hung out with some friends (different ones though) and then went to see Narnia again...but only because I didn't pay for it. It was a lot of fun...it was a group that I definitely consider my friends, but I don't normally hang out with them. So it was cool to hang out with some different people and I laughed a lot. The best part was going to Red Robin for dinner even though I didn't eat anything (yes, I'm moving into day 5 and still kicking...praise the Lord). It was good for a lot of laughs. I already said that...I'm tired. So yeah...looks like we all get to meet PC tomorrow. That ought to be the true test of endurance...if he can survive all of us, he's gotta be a keeper. I'm looking forward to meeting him, from what Roomiestar says, he seems to be a great guy. Which makes me happy because it makes her happy. So we're all just shiny happy people. Yes...I really need to go to bed now. I'm rambling. There ya go HBM...at least you didn't say "shiny happy people". Oh, and btw...I made the praise band...YAY. Still playing acoustic geetar and that is definitely fine by me. :D My audition went really bad but Elvis had mercy on my soul, plus I got to chat with him for a while which is always cool. I love you people. You're all great. Now I sound like that one beer commercial from back in the day where the guy keeps telling everyone, "I love you man". I really do need to shut up. I have to be high on life right now because I've been hyper a lot the last couple days and I know for sure it isn't from sugar or caffeine or carbs or anything of the sort because I haven't had any. Hmmmm. Maybe the insulin is kickin in to burn the stored body fat for energy. I don't know...I'm not a bio major. Alright, for real, I'm shutting up now. Goodnight and God bless!!!

Pepto

Short and sweet

2005-12-09T21:35:00.000-08:00

Ok, this will not be long because it's late and I'm really tired. Today was actually a pretty good day. Work wasn't that bad because I stayed busy and the time passed quickly. Plus I went home at 2:30 instead of 5. Then I just layed on the couch for a couple hours, then did some dishes, then headed to the church for the "Narnia Cast Party" wasn't exactly what I expected, but it was still pretty cool. I ended up just hanging out with Sebbiedue and her kids for about an hour or so until I met with TV Dinner and Piano Man to go see the movie. So yeah...the movie...we had to sit in the second row, but it was 50 times better than the first row, but it was still stinkin awesome. There were a few points where it strayed from the book, but it was nothing really important. So yeah...I've decided that I'm going to go on about my life as I was before I thought it had ended about two months ago. It's time to drop all the baggage and leave it all behind. Yeah. (Head nodding in confidence). I'm still going on the fast...moving into day 4 now, and it's only by God's strength that I've been able to do it. Because I cannot survive 3+ days without food. I can definitely tell there's been a change in my thinking over the last few days, so I really want to stick with it a bit longer. Ok, I'm tired...so I'm done. Goodnight.

Pepto

I have no life

2005-12-08T18:34:00.000-08:00

Obviously if I update my blog 5 times in one day...I need to find something better to do with my time.

Anyway...that big blessing that I've been praying for arrived this evening. An anonymous person dropped off a card in our mail box with my name in the center and the return address just said "Merry Christmas". Inside the card was some money and a couple of Pass-it-on cards that I definitely needed to read in a time like this. So whoever did it, which I'm sure you're reading this. Thank you so much. You're my guardian angel here on earth. I can't thank you enough for bringing such a wonderful blessing into my life, and it really made me smile...for the first time in quite a while. So whoever you are...it will come back to you tenfold someday. I love you all so much. You've really been there to catch me when I'm falling. I'll never be able to thank you enough...but if I ever write a book, which is something I want to do someday...I'll be sure to put you all in the acknowledgements.

God bless!!!
(it feels good to say that again and really mean it)

Pepto

This sucks

2005-12-08T12:48:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know this is my third post today, but that's what happens when you're stuck at work with nobody to talk to. So I was planning on going to see Narnia with the group at church and I just found out what showing they were going to see...I've been trying to find out all day. So I got online to try and get my ticket in case it would be sold out tomorrow...Yep...I was too late. It's already sold out. So it looks like I'll be spending the evening at home by myself anyway. Oh well...I guess it's just my destiny. Sorry I'm being pessimistic...hard not to when stuff like this keeps happening.

Update: So IF I'm not snowed in tomorrow...I'll probably be going to a later showing with TV Dinner and Piano Man. So cool beans...I love them...they're always there when I need someone to hang out with.

2005-12-08T10:33:00.000-08:00

Ok, so about the fasting thing...I've had some more time to think about it, pray about it, research it, etc. and I've decided I'm going to shoot for a 40 day "juice fast". That's where you don't eat anything but you can drink water, fruit juices, vegetable juices, and broth from vegetables. Why am I doing it? My reasons have changed because HBM is right...I shouldn't do it as an ultimatem with God. I'm doing it because I feel like I'm in a figurative desert in my life. What did Jesus do when he was in the desert? He fasted for 40 days and 40 nights...so I'm gonna give it a go. Besides...my biggest spiritual problem is that I don't fully rely on God and maybe not eating solid food for a while will force me to rely on Him more. So now that's the reason...read Matthew 4.

Edit: I've come to realize that a 40 fast over the holidays is not a good idea...so instead I'm going to fast for a week straight then just fast like 3 or 4 days a week for a few weeks. We'll see how it goes.

2005-12-08T06:47:00.000-08:00

Ok, quick update because the boss is out for a meeting. If I stop abruptly in mid sentence...it's because she came back, but I'll finish what I was saying later.

So yesterday was a pretty rough day for a lot of reasons. Life just started to catch up to me. It took a few days of slowing down before it caught up, but it did. I got to the end of the line. I've gotten to the point where I just can't take anymore testing and molding and all that. I need a break. Period. The main thing that brought this on was Roomiestar's date...hear me out before you think I'm a terrible friend. Every female reading this knows how it feels when two girls are best friends and ONE of them starts dating someone. It inevitably changes their friendship...not necesarily for the bad, but it just changes. Well...since satan's really been camping out in my mind, I lost it. I started to feel like I was going to lose my best friend, why is she getting everything she wants while I'm losing everything I have, etc. etc. etc. Satan sucks. It took a good hour of crying hysterically, two conversations with Mac and Cheese, a visit with TV Dinner, and finally just screaming at God for me to realize that it really is just satan messing with my head. And I hate it.

Yesterday while I was at work I decided to fast until God threw some big blessing my way...nothing specific...and I don't know what I'm looking for, but I'll know it when it comes. Later on I decided to do it until either that blessing comes OR God shows me what he wants me to do with my time NOW. I know I'm supposed to go seminary when I graduate...but that's 8 months away. There's a lot I can do between now and then I just don't know what. So I'm fasting...and for the first time, I'm sticking to it. I've made it almost 36 hours without food so far, and I'm still kickin. Besides...it'll be a good jump start to losing some weight. ;) Just kiddin.

So yeah...today has been better. I have specifically asked God to kick Satan out of my head at least for a little while, and I think it's working. I'm really happy and excited for Roomiestar although I know there are still going to be times when it will be difficult. But we talked about it, and both of us completely understand each other...for the first time in a while. I've decided that I'm probably going to go see the Narnia movie with the church because if I don't I'll be sitting at hope drowning in my self pity. I'd kinda like to go to the thingy at church before hand but it's 5 bucks per family...which I'm only one person so it wouldn't be fair to charge me the full 5 dollars...but maybe someone will adopt me into their family for the night.

Anyway...I better get going before the Big Boss Woman returns. Please keep me in your prayers and specifically ask God to send me some kind of blessing and to show me what I need to be doing right now. I love you all. Thank you for your prayers and support.

Pepto

2005-12-06T18:38:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I figured it's about time that I update this thing. Thank you everyone for your prayers and encouragement. Grandma's funeral was actually not all that bad. There were some moments that were definitely heartbreaking, but for the most part it was a celebration of her life instead of just mourning her death. We did a lot of reminiscing, a lot of laughing, and a little drinkin in her honor (honestly that's the only reason I did it...ask me about that sometime) which is what I think she would have wanted. Anyway...it's still been an emotional roller coaster over the last week which is to be expected, but the outlook for the near future isn't really much better. Lots of financial issues have come about this week...I'm getting screwed for the month of December...great timing isn't it? Anyway...now that I'm back all I'm doing is working 9-5 Monday through Friday...that's it. I really need to get a life. In all honesty...I'm in a spiritual pitfall right now. I don't really have a desire to go to church...I haven't spent any time in the word except to look for something to say at my Grandma's funeral. I'm not praying. I'm having doubts about going to seminary. And I'm falling deep back into a sin that I thought I was climbing my way out of. That's the short of it. So I could use a little prayer with all that.

On the bright side...Roomiestar has a date tomorrow. (ow ow) ;) I'd like to send out some congrats to her. I'm really excited for her, and I hope things work out. She definitely deserves a guy that will treat her the way she deserves to be treated...and if he doesn't...I'll kill him. Just kidding. ;) I've been trying to be optimistic thinking that my Prince Charming will come along very soon just like we hoped it would happen...but I don't believe it at all. I need to lose about 60 pounds first.

Yay for mood swings within a single blog entry. Y'all probably think I've lost my mind. Well, I'm gonna go because we have to make a Meijer run. Later.

Pepto

2005-11-29T23:08:00.000-08:00

I just want to let you know that my grandma passed away last night. She went peacefully. It was hard to handle at first but once the inital shock wore off, we were all okay because we knew she wasn't suffering anymore. So I just ask again that you keep my family in your prayers. The next few days will definitely be a roller coaster of emotions. You probably won't hear from me for a few days because I'll be in Circleville with family, but you can call me if you want. I'm looking forward to seeing you all again, it will be good to be around my church family. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. I love you all. God bless.

Pepto

2005-11-28T21:06:00.000-08:00

So...really quick update for today because I'm tired. I got up at around 5:30 this morning so I could drop my car off at Voss because my airbag light wouldn't go off. So I dropped it off then took the courtesy shuttle to campus and slept in the lobby of Millett until I had to go to work. While I was at work I got a call from Voss telling me that they had to get a part for my car and the part was on back order which means that it could take as long as 2 - 3 weeks. Then he said that they wanted to keep my car because they didn't want to risk putting someone's life in danger in case the airbag wouldn't deploy in an accident so they were going to put me in a rental car and charge it to GM. So that kinda sucked, but I was ok. About an hour and a half later my mom calls to tell me that they're saying my grandma has a fever and is showing signs that her body is shutting down so they're calling the family in. So without thinking twice I decided to go, so my boss offered to take me to enterprise so I could get my rental car and get to Circleville. I get to Enterprise...go through the paperwork...they pull my rental car around...it's a minivan. Now...most of you know that I'm not the type to drive a minivan, that alone bothers me, but I soon realized how much money I'm losing because of the difference in gas mileage between the van and my car. Anyway...I go to Circleville and they're about ready to give my grandma a bath, so we all went to get a bite to eat...that was frustrating...don't get me wrong, I love my family but sometimes they can really get on my nerves. So we get back to the nursing home and my grandma's temperature is back to normal. At some point during all this Roomiestar calls to tell me she got tickets to the Casting Crowns concert, but at that point I was planning on staying in Circleville most of the evening, but then family got on my nerves (especially my mom) and Amazing Grace's temperature went down, so I decided to go home and go to the concert and fortunatly grandma woke up long enough for me to tell her bye before I left.
It was a good decision. I've never really been a huge fan of Casting Crowns because K-love has a tendency to overplay their songs and that stinks because their stuff really speaks a lot when you listen to it. So yeah, that was totally awesome even though we were completely surrounded by a lot of really annoying teenagers, I managed to get past it for the most part. So then we go to Meijer to get groceries and see that a building is on fire...I mean completely engulfed in flames. We figured it was either Tuty's (a bar) or the Waffle House. So we got home and turned on the news and found out that it was Tuty's.
Anyway...I called my mom a few times this evening to see how grandma's doing and she said about the same everytime. So she's still surviving, but the Hospice workers that have been with her say that it's only a matter of time. So please keep her and my family in your prayers. I think the situation is starting to wear us all down, so prayers would be appreciated.

Well...it's late and I'm tired, so I'm gonna hit the hay. Goodnight and God bless!

Pepto

First update on new blog

2005-11-25T08:47:00.000-08:00

Okie dokie...It's been quite a while. Sorry bout that. Life has really kept me occupied. Just to give a really quick update on things...the quarter is over, my grades probably stink, but they're good enough. My mom's moving to Cincinnati, my dad is...I just won't go there right now. My grandma was in the hospital this weekend...the doctors weren't expecting her to make it through Sunday night, but she's still kickin, she's a stubborn old lady but praise the Lord for that. I had Thanksgiving dinner yesterday with Roomiestar, her parents, my mom, and Michigan which was awkward and odd, but I really did have fun. So now I'm enjoying having the weekend off. Tomorrow is Roomiestar's 22nd birthday, so hopefully we'll figure out something fun but free to do. Yeah...maybe I'll get a little more detailed, but for now...that's all. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Have a great weekend. God bless!!

Pepto