Roller Coaster

Yeah...so the last couple days have definitely been up and down. Yesterday started off great...the service was awesome even though the last verse of the Untitled Hymn brought some tears to my eyes because it reminded me of my Grandma. Afterwards Roomiestar had to work so we headed back to the house and PC asked me and Homeslice if we would like to go somewhere for lunch, so we did. It was a lot of fun and we got to know each other a little bit more, and then it was time to face reality. I went to Portsmouth to talk to my dad. It really didn't go well, but in the end we were "ok". It's a long story and I really don't want to get into it. So I came back here to talk to Roomiestar, and PC was here as well. I was fine with that because I had vaguely told him what had been going on at lunch. So I told them all what happened and that was that. Then PC left and Roomiestar was upset about us going to lunch. Understandably so because I wouldn't be too happy in her shoes either. But I felt like a colossal jerk. Thankfully this morning she was fine, so I didn't worry about it anymore. So today I went to work for an hour then Roomiestar and I went shopping. PC called her around 3ish and told us to meet him at Golden Corral to eat.

Well...this is where the plot thickens. Everything started out just fine...but I now must go back in time a little bit. In my last entry (I think) I told y'all about the night out with Roomiestar, PC, and Bowler. Well...ever since that evening (including some interesting conversation with PC), I've been thinking about him quite a bit...probably a lot more than I should considering he was taken (or so I thought) and I don't know anything about him. So I made the mistake of repeatedly asking about him or talking about him around PC, but at the same time completley denying that I had any interest in him. Well today I said something about him again while we were at lunch. And everytime I mention him, PC walks away. So Roomiestar just basically told me that I either need to drop it and not talk about him anymore or just fess up that I have an interest...so I fessed up and she ran immediately to tell PC. That was embarrassing. So the situation was awkward, and then it got worse when PC started probing for information and asking me questions. You see...he's a very analytical guy. So everything I said only provoked more questions until I finally just blurted it out that I really do want to date someone no matter how much I seem like I don't and that I want to at least wait till I leave. I want to be pursued and I want it to happen in the very near future. I don't want to wait for another 8 months because I feel like I've been waiting long enough. I don't know...I see how happy Roomiestar is with PC...and I want that. Now. Not a year from now. Now. I'm just being honest. I'm sure that it isn't God's will for me to be with anyone, and I'm kinda getting into one of my, "I'll never find anyone" funks, but I'm sure I'll get over it. So anyway...through a few conversations I've had with PC about this stuff he keeps saying that I have more control over the situation than I think I do...but I really don't. I have no control over it whatsoever and he just doesn't seem to get that. It's not that I'm not taking opportunities, it's that I don't have any. So yeah...that's how I feel right now. Chances are I will be fine by tomorrow morning, but yeah...I could use a little prayer, and if y'all could start sending up some prayers that God will send me my Prince Charming soon, I would really appreciate it. Maybe if we start praying for it now it won't take as long. I'm still trying very hard to just be patient, but it gets hard occasionally. I'm sure you all can understand that. Ok, I'm gonna shut up...this is getting depressing, I'll try to be more upbeat in the next one.

God bless!

Pepto


P.S. I figured I should at least end it on a good note. I have to say that PC is a great guy...perfect for Roomiestar. He's going through a lot of steps to really invest in her...especially considering he's doing stuff like taking me out for lunch and inviting me along with them to places just because I am, "an important part of Roomiestar's life." So I really am very very very very happy for them and I feel like I've gained a friend in the deal. So I'm not bitter...don't worry. Peace out.